Wayne, a personal development coach and content creator, discusses his book 'Setback or Stepping Stones: It's Your Choice' and shares insights on overcoming setbacks and turning them into opportunities. This subject can really be applied to the divorce recovery space. While emphasizing the importance of self-care, managing negative self-talk, and building self-confidence, he also highlights the role of community and the power of turning pain into purpose. Overall, his book and coaching approach aim to inspire and empower individuals to live their best lives.
Takeaways and important points:
Setbacks are inevitable in life, but they can be turned into stepping stones for personal growth and success.
Negative self-talk and self-sabotage often stem from the ego, but they can be countered by changing thoughts and language.
Self-care, including stress relief, meditation, and positive affirmations, is crucial for overall well-being and success.
Building self-confidence starts with changing thoughts and self-talk, and it is essential for achieving goals and overcoming setbacks.
Community plays a significant role in shaping thoughts, emotions, and actions, and it is important to surround oneself with positive influences.
Failure is not the end but an opportunity for learning and growth, and setbacks can be redefined as stepping stones towards success.
Managing difficult emotions involves monitoring energy levels, engaging in activities that uplift mood, and practicing self-reflection.
Turning pain into purpose allows individuals to find meaning and create a fulfilling life beyond setbacks and challenges.
The war within
First, you have to be true to yourself
Self-talk, internal dialogue
No failures in life, just opportunities
Self-confidence is the key, how you think
Journaling
You must love yourself
Setback or Stepping Stone? It’s Your Choice, Flipbook
Social Media Handles:
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https://twitter.com/@wayne51725476
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[00:00:00] Welcome to the Don't Pick the Scab Podcast with the premise of connecting men over 40 A lot of the things I had questions about that I couldn't talk to anybody in my circle of influence about because they probably was in the same position that I was. They didn't have a lot more information, so I had to do a lot of reading, studying, research, and analysis to try to come up with some conclusions on my own. So I thought about setbacks. We all face setbacks.
[00:01:41] Yes, we do.
[00:01:42] There's no way around it.
[00:01:44] Life is not perfect, so you're going to have some instances where things will go great.
[00:01:47] There's going to be some sunshine. That is for sure. So in dealing with all those setbacks and even career setbacks, you know, having the voice, it can cause dynamics within your career path. So when you look at all those things, you say, okay, I got a lot to overcome. I got a lot that I got to get a handle on to try to survive and reinvent myself and start again.
[00:03:01] That's the whole point.
[00:03:02] Life is not over.
[00:03:04] There's a new beginning for you now,
[00:03:05] but you have to approach true with yourself. You have to find out what are your
[00:04:20] deficiencies. What do you think your deficiencies are? Not what I think. You tell me about you. never conclude and that is your ego. All negative energy comes from your ego. All negative energy and contradiction derives from one's ego and those negative thoughts in your head it's not you per se the person you it's that ego it? You have debt. So all those things is telling you that it's not going to happen. Just think for a moment. Would you tell yourself that? No. So it's another entity. It is the ego of your mind that's saying that. So what you do, you get to the point where you got, not have an experience and knowledge about it. Yes, the ego kicked in and says, Okay, what are you doing? You've never done this before. Who are you? Who's gonna buy this? But who cares about what you think, you know, who's gonna read something that you've written, all that kind of stuff. So you have to combat those things and keep going. And until you get some success.
[00:08:22] What about self care? One of the big things that we talk about
[00:08:24] on the other podcast? What role does self care come in all that
[00:09:24] things I recommend that everybody do every day. You want to think, you want to be creative, and you want to meditate. I call meditation my superpower. Yeah, I spend an hour each day
[00:09:30] meditating. It's starting out about five o'clock in the morning. And in doing that, that is where
[00:09:39] all of my healing takes place. That's where I self-confidence, but it stems from your thoughts and how you speak, your self-talk, your internal dialogue. It's so important in deriving and creating a total great self-confidence for yourself.
[00:12:05] So the more you deny yourself, you know of going down that pathway toward your real destination and go
[00:12:08] It's going to add up everything counts. Yes, it does
[00:12:12] the one thing that really
[00:12:18] Bounces around in the men over 40 divorcing space is the word failure
[00:12:20] That can be like a debilitating word
[00:12:28] How can a man overcome that word and and keep Is it a setback or is it a stepping stone? Yes, it was a life event.
[00:13:43] It is done. Go ahead and grieve for a period of time if you want to,
[00:13:46] but there's tomorrow. What kind of emotions are you having right now? I can assure you, if your energy levels drop, your mood is very dark. You're going
[00:15:00] to have low emotions. You can have emotions because in my estimation, most people do not think of this. What is your circle of influence? If you were to take a eight by 11 sheet of paper blank and draw a circle in
[00:16:21] this center, place your name in a handle line, the people around you have effect on all of us. Yes, every moment of the hour of the day, the people around us that we call our circle, within our circle, they have an effect on us in many different ways. But if we do not realize who those individuals are
[00:17:42] and what part they play in shaping our thoughts,
[00:17:45] our feelings, our emotions, event, but we're moving on to a higher ground. Yes. And turn it into purpose. What's your purpose in life now? What's important to you now? If you were writing the last chapter of your life, what would it be about? That's interesting. That's very interesting. Yeah. Wow. You have knocked out every question that I've asked in your next part.
[00:19:04] All right, Wayne, we want to thank you for being on the podcast.