Men’s Divorce Recovery: Bugs, Beans and Laughter / Seriously? - Cathy Nesbitt || DPTSP #060 || David M. Webb

[00:00:00] Welcome to the Don't Pick the Scab Podcast, a podcast that centers on helping men over 40 heal and move on with their lives after a divorce. We love out of the box solutions, and I think we got one today to some of the problems my men face and today is no exception. Welcome to the show, Cathy Nesbitt. She's a health and wellness advocate. She is founder of Cathy's Crawley Composters and Cathy Sprouters and Cathy's Laughter Club. Cathy's busy.

[00:00:28] Cathy Nesbitt She's

[00:00:29] an award-winning environmental innovator that provides ways for people to live a more sustainable life. Being the Cathy Crawley laughing bean queen, she practices laughter yoga to promote overall health and wellness. She says laughter is good, and I believe that too, to promote overall health and wellness. She says laughter is good for negative energy that we all sometimes have.

[00:00:56] C.J. Preaching that laughter is the best medicine, she realizes that the love drugs allow us to practice more self-love, which is my favorite.

[00:01:04] C.J. Welcome to the Don't Pick the Scab Podcast, with the premise of connecting men over 40 with the tools and community to thrive in their divorce recovery either before, during, or after a divorce. Check it out.

[00:01:32] C.J. Let's start with your personal journey and how you got to this present place, Cathy.

[00:01:36] C.J. Thank you. I'm excited to be here and help people heal. Don't pick the scab. Come on now.

[00:01:43] C.J. Let it heal.

[00:01:45] C.J. Let it heal. Come on.

[00:01:47] C.J. So my working title is Cathy Crawley Laughing Bean Queen, and I offer simple solutions for today's challenges.

[00:01:54] C.J. Worms for amending the soil, indoor composting. Who doesn't want worms in the house?

[00:01:59] C.J. I've met most of them. It's fine.

[00:02:01] C.J. Sprouts for eating, grow your own, and laughter for overall health and wellness.

[00:02:05] And how did I get to the laughter?

[00:02:07] It's the 22nd anniversary of my worm composting business.

[00:02:11] Yeah, and people don't buy what they need, David.

[00:02:15] They buy what they want, and they didn't want what I had.

[00:02:17] But I have a ton of energy, and I knew that I was on purpose, and people needed what I had.

[00:02:22] So I kept going.

[00:02:24] And I learned early on that people were afraid of worms.

[00:02:29] Maybe they were traumatized as a child.

[00:02:31] After a rainy day, someone chased them around, a fishing incident.

[00:02:34] Something happened with worms as a child.

[00:02:37] So if you were traumatized as a child, you're not looking to that as a solution as an adult.

[00:02:43] Yeah, so I'm pretty animated.

[00:02:45] I'm high energy, and it's probably fun to watch me at a show.

[00:02:47] But in their mind, they're like, yeah, no way in hell.

[00:02:50] I'm having worms in my house.

[00:02:53] So 2012, one more person said, ew, worms in the house.

[00:02:57] 10 years into my mission, and I was like, ah.

[00:03:00] I felt it.

[00:03:01] I heard it.

[00:03:01] I questioned everything.

[00:03:02] And I said, universe, what do you want from me?

[00:03:06] I don't know what to do.

[00:03:07] How am I going to do this?

[00:03:08] Because my goal in 2002 was to put worms in every living space, worms in every house,

[00:03:15] every apartment, every classroom, not just one worm bin in a school as a project, just

[00:03:21] everywhere.

[00:03:22] Worms everywhere, like the recycling bin.

[00:03:24] So when we're eating an apple, when we've got the apple core, we're like, oh, where's

[00:03:29] the worm bin?

[00:03:30] We just know.

[00:03:31] We haven't got there yet, clearly.

[00:03:35] And so 2012, I questioned everything.

[00:03:37] I was like, oh my gosh, I don't know what to do.

[00:03:39] And the very next day, I was introduced to laughter yoga.

[00:03:44] Wow.

[00:03:45] That's an interesting story.

[00:03:46] I got to tell you a story.

[00:03:47] This is on my heart.

[00:03:49] So my kids are 31, 30, and 28.

[00:03:52] So they're already grown.

[00:03:53] But when my daughter was 12, that's when you had to have a good birthday party.

[00:03:58] You didn't want to get embarrassed because the little girls would talk about you.

[00:04:01] So I should go, dad, I need a good birthday party.

[00:04:03] So I said, okay, cool.

[00:04:04] So that was the time of, remember that show where Fear Factor.

[00:04:11] Fear Factor.

[00:04:13] You would do these stunts and you win prizes.

[00:04:16] So I said, okay, I'm going to have a Fear Factor party.

[00:04:19] So it was wintertime.

[00:04:20] So they were trapped inside the house and there was like 12 girls.

[00:04:23] So we had to race down the basement.

[00:04:26] We had to, who could stick their hand in the ice cold water, the longest, things like that.

[00:04:31] So it was really lame.

[00:04:33] And I saw my daughter's eyes just glass over.

[00:04:37] She was getting pissed.

[00:04:38] So I saved the coup de grace for the end.

[00:04:41] And so what I did was I got some Oreos and I mushed them up made like soil.

[00:04:47] And I got some gummy worms and I put the gummy worms in the Oreos and made just soil and worms.

[00:04:54] So each girl rolled a dice.

[00:04:56] And if they rolled it even, they would eat a worm.

[00:04:59] Or if they rolled a nod, they would pass it.

[00:05:03] So we didn't eat the worms yet.

[00:05:05] So we just rolled all the dice.

[00:05:06] So they were half odd and half even.

[00:05:08] And so my daughter's like getting pissed because this is so lame.

[00:05:12] Gummy worms.

[00:05:13] So they didn't know that I had gone to the bird store and gotten grub worms.

[00:05:18] So I got these grub worms and they were in sawdust.

[00:05:22] So I grabbed this container and I slammed it on the table and these worms started moving.

[00:05:28] And all the girls started screaming.

[00:05:30] And my daughter looks at me.

[00:05:31] She goes, oh man, yeah, daddy.

[00:05:33] Good job.

[00:05:34] Okay.

[00:05:35] So you have a chance to eat a worm or you can pass to me.

[00:05:39] So every kid passed to me except for one.

[00:05:42] And grub worms pop in your mouth.

[00:05:46] They explode.

[00:05:47] And my stomach wasn't right for about three days.

[00:05:51] Oh.

[00:05:52] Yeah.

[00:05:53] So me and worms have a personal story.

[00:05:56] Wow.

[00:05:57] Wow.

[00:05:58] What a good dad.

[00:05:59] That's love.

[00:06:00] That's love.

[00:06:02] Oh my gosh.

[00:06:02] It so is.

[00:06:03] So what were some of the challenges that you face trying to introduce the concept of indoor

[00:06:09] composting with worms?

[00:06:10] And how did you overcome them?

[00:06:12] Because people just probably push back a lot.

[00:06:15] They so did.

[00:06:17] Worm is a bad word.

[00:06:18] Words have energy.

[00:06:20] And worm has negative energy.

[00:06:22] Like parasites are often worms.

[00:06:25] Tape worm.

[00:06:27] Computer viruses are often worms.

[00:06:29] So worm has a can of worms.

[00:06:31] Oh, now you're open to can of worms.

[00:06:32] Although I'm trying to change that.

[00:06:34] Can of worms.

[00:06:34] I go, yay, can of worms.

[00:06:35] Oops, sorry.

[00:06:36] I know it's a bad thing.

[00:06:39] Yeah.

[00:06:40] So I really thought, okay, what am I going to do?

[00:06:43] People don't want what I have.

[00:06:44] What do I do?

[00:06:45] So I started to do school workshops right in my first year.

[00:06:49] And over 75,000 students have seen my presentation.

[00:06:52] And I was like, I just have to wait 20 years for them to have buying power.

[00:06:56] Yay, I made it.

[00:06:57] Careful what you say.

[00:07:00] Because with my business, I don't have repeat customers.

[00:07:03] Because the worms breed more than rabbits.

[00:07:06] And people, when I would see people at a show, they're like, oh, my worms are doing so great.

[00:07:10] I gave some to my neighbor.

[00:07:11] I sent some to my kids' school.

[00:07:13] I'm like, stop giving your worms away.

[00:07:14] It's bad for business.

[00:07:15] Yeah.

[00:07:15] So it's been a whole process.

[00:07:18] I also have a sprouting branch.

[00:07:20] At my very first event where I was exhibiting with the worms, there was a gentleman there selling this sprouter that I now sell.

[00:07:29] And it was flying off the shelf.

[00:07:31] It looks like a little spaceship.

[00:07:32] And it was flying off the shelf.

[00:07:34] And when there was a break in the audience, I said, what is that thing?

[00:07:37] And he said, it was a sprout grower.

[00:07:38] This man was 72.

[00:07:42] Very vibrant.

[00:07:43] He was a professional ballroom dancer.

[00:07:45] So I had the ballroom dancer body.

[00:07:46] He had the white crisp shirt, the black vest.

[00:07:49] He was a gentleman.

[00:07:50] 72.

[00:07:51] I didn't know anyone that was still working at 72.

[00:07:53] Because I came from a background of employees.

[00:07:57] We retire at 65.

[00:07:58] And you get a gold watch.

[00:08:00] And you sit in your rocking chair.

[00:08:02] Or whatever happens.

[00:08:04] Although I never understood why you got a watch after working for 30 years.

[00:08:07] Why do you need a watch at the end?

[00:08:09] So I don't need to know why something works.

[00:08:13] And when I saw this man, he looked super healthy.

[00:08:16] And I was inspired by him.

[00:08:17] And I said, okay, I'm in.

[00:08:18] So he said, if you're going to do this, start your day with two tablespoons of the sprouted beans.

[00:08:24] So here's the thing about sprouts.

[00:08:26] They're hydrating, alkalizing, regenerative, biogenic.

[00:08:29] And contain up to 100 times more digestive enzymes.

[00:08:33] They're the superfoods that we can grow ourselves for pennies a day.

[00:08:37] So I was in.

[00:08:38] For 10 years, it was my private health plan.

[00:08:40] And I thought everybody knew what I knew.

[00:08:42] Like we all have access to the same information.

[00:08:45] And I'm so naive.

[00:08:46] I used to think that when I Googled something and you Googled something, we got the same results.

[00:08:53] I truly did.

[00:08:54] I didn't realize that, oh, the algorithm sends us what we, the more we search for something, the more we get the same.

[00:09:02] So it narrows our search, in fact.

[00:09:04] Yeah.

[00:09:05] Yeah.

[00:09:05] I was doing this for 10 years.

[00:09:06] Then in 2012, it was a big year.

[00:09:08] 2012, I was at an event with that man.

[00:09:11] And he was 82 now.

[00:09:13] And he said, why don't you sell the sprouter and beans with your worm business?

[00:09:18] I was like, oh my gosh, what a great idea.

[00:09:21] As an entrepreneur, what a great complimentary thing.

[00:09:24] It's got to be easier than worms.

[00:09:26] And only marginally.

[00:09:27] Only marginally because people, they don't want to do the work.

[00:09:32] Even though it's simple to do.

[00:09:34] Yeah.

[00:09:34] So I started selling the sprouter.

[00:09:37] And for 10 years, I only ate mung beans.

[00:09:40] I don't, I like, I'm an omnivore.

[00:09:41] I was eating other things, but only sprouting mung beans.

[00:09:44] So I would have samples and people could try them.

[00:09:47] And a woman said, what else can you sprout?

[00:09:49] And I said, I don't know.

[00:09:52] And she said, don't you get tired of mung beans?

[00:09:54] And I said, would you get tired of feeling great and having tons of energy?

[00:09:59] Maybe.

[00:09:59] People love their story.

[00:10:00] Oh, I'm so tired.

[00:10:02] Oh, okay.

[00:10:02] Good for you.

[00:10:05] I'm not laughing at their story.

[00:10:07] We do get involved in our story.

[00:10:10] And then that becomes our badge of honor.

[00:10:13] That we, oh, I'm so tired, but I'm plowing through anyway, especially women.

[00:10:18] And so I said, wow.

[00:10:20] Okay.

[00:10:21] So then I thought, wow, what do I care?

[00:10:23] If as an entrepreneur, what do I care?

[00:10:24] If people don't like mung beans or they want to do a different kind.

[00:10:27] And I started to experiment.

[00:10:29] And now I'm a sprouting monster.

[00:10:32] I sprout chickpeas, lentils, fenugreek, radish, all these beautiful beans.

[00:10:37] And yeah, it's part of my daily thing.

[00:10:40] Sprouts and worms for 22 years.

[00:10:43] And then 2012, the laughter.

[00:10:46] I don't even do yoga, regular yoga.

[00:10:48] I jumped right to the fun yoga.

[00:10:50] Laughter yoga is not doing yoga and laughing.

[00:10:53] It's laughing as a cardiovascular workout.

[00:10:57] Not jokes or comedy.

[00:10:58] Because jokes are cultural.

[00:11:00] Two people going somewhere.

[00:11:01] It's not funny for those people.

[00:11:03] Yeah.

[00:11:04] And so this is a global phenomenon.

[00:11:06] Started in 1995 by a medical doctor, Dr. Medan Kateria.

[00:11:11] And his goal is world peace, David.

[00:11:13] What a great mission.

[00:11:15] As a GP, he was probably dispensing antidepressants.

[00:11:20] Maybe popping a few himself.

[00:11:22] And he was writing an article for a journal on laughter.

[00:11:26] And he came across all this research that laughter is the best medicine.

[00:11:30] And he thought, if laughter is the best medicine, why don't we just laugh?

[00:11:35] So he could only find five people to join him at that first experience.

[00:11:41] And I think that's funny, five people in India.

[00:11:45] And they were telling jokes and funny stories.

[00:11:49] And they would meet every day at a park.

[00:11:51] After two weeks, there was about 50 people.

[00:11:54] And the jokes started to become off color.

[00:11:57] Or not funny anymore.

[00:11:59] And people said, ah, no, we don't like this.

[00:12:01] This isn't, it's not fun anymore.

[00:12:03] And he said, come back tomorrow.

[00:12:06] I'll have a solution.

[00:12:07] And he got a download.

[00:12:08] Hey, if we look at children, they're just laughing for nothing.

[00:12:11] What are those kids up to?

[00:12:13] Nothing.

[00:12:13] They're just laughing.

[00:12:14] Just having fun.

[00:12:15] They're totally present.

[00:12:16] So now laughter yoga, that was the birth of laughter yoga.

[00:12:20] And it's little games to inspire the laughter.

[00:12:23] And so there's clapping and chanting and just games and just play and fun.

[00:12:28] Because our body doesn't know the difference between real and simulated laughter.

[00:12:33] Oh, interesting.

[00:12:34] Like our brain does.

[00:12:35] Our ego does.

[00:12:37] Oh, what are you doing?

[00:12:37] Because our brain, the role of our brain is to keep us safe and conserve energy.

[00:12:44] Right?

[00:12:44] When we go to that family function and our sibling says something and then we get in that same fight again.

[00:12:50] That's because our brain's, oh, I know what to do here.

[00:12:52] And off we launch.

[00:12:54] Laughter yoga bypasses that.

[00:12:56] And we go right into our body.

[00:12:58] When we're laughing, we're secreting the love drugs, dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins versus cortisol and adrenaline, the stress chemicals.

[00:13:08] What I really understand about laughter is it's the opposite of stress, first of all.

[00:13:15] So we're living in a perpetual state of stress today.

[00:13:19] And we have two nervous systems.

[00:13:21] I remember this from school, sympathetic and parasympathetic.

[00:13:24] I understood it at the time that there was two systems, but I didn't understand that we're not in both at the same time.

[00:13:31] We can only be in one nervous system at one time.

[00:13:36] So either we're stressed, not breathing properly, not secreting all those love drugs, or we're in the parasympathetic where we're in relax and digest mode.

[00:13:46] You advocate for laughter as a form of self-love.

[00:13:49] How has laughter yoga impacted your life personally?

[00:13:54] Oh, so much.

[00:13:55] So in 2012, when I was introduced, I loved it.

[00:13:59] And I was like, this is interesting.

[00:14:00] And I loved it so much.

[00:14:02] I got trained as a leader.

[00:14:03] Then I got trained as a teacher.

[00:14:05] So I've been laughing since 2012.

[00:14:07] I would go to a monthly club and that was fine.

[00:14:09] It was fun, but not really taking it serious.

[00:14:12] And then 2020.

[00:14:14] So in 2020, when we got shut down and in Canada, we were locked down for about two years, shut in our homes.

[00:14:20] It's hard to even remember now.

[00:14:22] Those times, even though it wasn't that long ago.

[00:14:25] And I took a deep dive into the expression, laughter is the best medicine.

[00:14:30] What does it mean?

[00:14:31] Is it true?

[00:14:31] And if it's true, why don't we just laugh?

[00:14:34] And so it has changed my life.

[00:14:36] It saved my worm business in that I'm still in it.

[00:14:40] And when people said, ew, worms in the house, I think on a certain level, I took it personal.

[00:14:46] And then laughter has allowed me to not take it personal anymore.

[00:14:51] So that's their stuff.

[00:14:52] That's okay.

[00:14:54] It's changed my life in that it's a practice.

[00:14:59] And yeah, it's something that I do every single day.

[00:15:03] I have a laughter buddy that calls me at 7.30 every day since December 2021.

[00:15:09] And it's two minutes.

[00:15:10] We laugh two minutes full on, no talking, just laughing.

[00:15:13] We breathe deep for one minute.

[00:15:15] And then we laugh for two additional minutes.

[00:15:17] So it's a five-minute practice.

[00:15:20] And it just sets up the day.

[00:15:21] Okay.

[00:15:22] Like 7.30, I get up.

[00:15:23] I'm like laughing, secreting the love drugs.

[00:15:27] My body's fully oxygenated.

[00:15:29] And I'm like, okay, world, what have you got for me?

[00:15:31] And I'm ready.

[00:15:32] It just has changed my whole life.

[00:15:35] And it's a practice.

[00:15:36] So you can't laugh once and then, okay, you're done.

[00:15:38] You check it off your list.

[00:15:39] It's like we know jogging is good for us or meditation or a good night's sleep.

[00:15:44] All good for us.

[00:15:45] But we don't do it once.

[00:15:46] And that's it.

[00:15:48] It's a practice.

[00:15:49] What are the love drugs and how can they help with healing?

[00:15:53] What does each drug do?

[00:15:55] I mentioned them.

[00:15:57] Dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins, which spells dose.

[00:16:01] And I say, have you had your daily dose?

[00:16:04] Dopamine is, I don't know exactly what they all are, but oxytocin is the love drug.

[00:16:09] That's the one when we hug, when we're hugging someone, we're secreting oxytocin.

[00:16:14] That's the bonding chemical.

[00:16:17] That when we're in love with somebody, we're secreting oxytocin.

[00:16:21] And we get out of ourselves.

[00:16:23] When we're in love, and I know this is the divorce podcast, so people were in love at one time and then things went awry.

[00:16:30] And I get that.

[00:16:31] That people are like, yeah, I effing hate her now.

[00:16:35] But how did it go from love to hate?

[00:16:38] It was a process.

[00:16:39] It didn't happen overnight.

[00:16:41] Serotonin is the one when you're taking your antidepressants.

[00:16:44] It's because there may be serotonin.

[00:16:47] You're not secreting enough serotonin.

[00:16:49] So you might take a pill.

[00:16:50] But this is a way for us to naturally, we're in charge of our own pharma.

[00:16:55] Endorphins are like our own internal morphine.

[00:17:00] And it's actually, they say it's more powerful than morphine.

[00:17:02] So imagine sometimes people drink or they do drugs or they have sex or whatever it is, whatever their addictions are to get those love drug hits.

[00:17:14] So imagine we can dispense our own.

[00:17:17] I do wonder if I'm going to wear out my dispenser, by the way, from laughing.

[00:17:21] And as soon as we start smiling, we're secreting the love drugs.

[00:17:26] We can override our brain.

[00:17:28] And there's about 50 years of research showing that laughter is the best medicine.

[00:17:34] So if that's the truth, and it is, why is it so challenging for us to receive abundant, sustainable, reliable laughter for our health?

[00:17:44] It's the critical mind.

[00:17:46] When we become adults, then life is serious.

[00:17:49] And there's so much stuff going on in the world.

[00:17:52] People say, how can I laugh?

[00:17:54] There's so much tragedy happening.

[00:17:57] That's true.

[00:17:58] It's easy to laugh when times are fine.

[00:18:01] We're all getting along.

[00:18:02] It doesn't matter what kind of personality, what element you are.

[00:18:05] We can all laugh when times are good.

[00:18:08] We can all get along and everything's fine.

[00:18:11] Add in a stressor.

[00:18:12] Some people get mad.

[00:18:14] They get angry.

[00:18:15] They're shouting.

[00:18:16] Other people get quiet.

[00:18:17] Some people cry.

[00:18:19] People respond differently to stressful situations.

[00:18:23] Laughter isn't about, it's not jokes or comedy.

[00:18:26] It's laughing as a release.

[00:18:28] It just changes everything.

[00:18:30] Why do people laugh at inappropriate times?

[00:18:33] At a funeral or when somebody trips?

[00:18:36] Because it's the body saying, you're too stressed.

[00:18:40] You're too tight.

[00:18:41] This is the body's automatic, natural response.

[00:18:46] So what about one of my big subjects in divorce recovery is co-parenting.

[00:18:51] A lot of men struggle with that, that hatred's there, but you love your kids.

[00:18:56] And one of my podcasters told me that you need to go into co-parenting.

[00:19:01] You need to love your kids more than you hate your ex.

[00:19:04] What are some of the ways that laughter can help with that?

[00:19:09] So for the wonderful men that are listening, next time you meet up with your spouse, your ex-spouse, and an argument ensues, I would ask you to employ gibberish laughter.

[00:19:23] A gibberish argument.

[00:19:25] And what that is, it's no words.

[00:19:28] It's just you can wiggle your finger, maybe put your hand on your hip, and you're just like,

[00:19:37] And that's what happens.

[00:19:39] Because when we're arguing, when we're in that argument of state.

[00:19:45] Interesting.

[00:19:46] Wow.

[00:19:46] Don't you love it?

[00:19:47] Yeah.

[00:19:48] Yeah.

[00:19:48] Wow.

[00:19:55] We're arguing.

[00:19:56] We're not even present.

[00:19:57] Our frontal lobe has disconnected.

[00:19:59] Maybe people have had the experience where it's like, man, I was so mad.

[00:20:03] I couldn't even think straight.

[00:20:05] That's the truth.

[00:20:06] Because our frontal lobe has disconnected.

[00:20:09] Blood lymph oxygen leaves our frontal lobe and goes into our muscles so we can escape, even if it's not physically escaping.

[00:20:17] The amygdala hasn't evolved since prehistoric times.

[00:20:20] We needed to know that we were going to be eaten by something.

[00:20:25] That we're in danger.

[00:20:26] We're not in danger today.

[00:20:28] If we lose our keys or miss the bus, it's a nuisance for sure.

[00:20:32] But not life-threatening.

[00:20:34] Our body acts as if it is.

[00:20:37] Wow.

[00:20:39] How has your personal experience with negativity and challenges shaped your approach to health and wellness?

[00:20:45] How did you center into health and wellness?

[00:20:49] It was 2020.

[00:20:50] I realized that there's no room at the inn.

[00:20:53] So self-care is the only answer.

[00:20:56] Taking care of ourself and the new doctor will be the patient.

[00:21:01] The new doctor in the future will be the patient because there's 8 billion of us.

[00:21:07] And there's no one magic bullet.

[00:21:10] So I think that...

[00:21:12] I'm going to give an example.

[00:21:14] When something happens...

[00:21:16] And I'm human.

[00:21:16] Of course, I have stressful events in my life.

[00:21:20] I know how to manage it now.

[00:21:22] When I feel my body tightening up, I'm breathing shallow.

[00:21:25] I'm like, ooh, time to go and laugh.

[00:21:27] And I'll just go and laugh it off and change everything because it changes my state in an instant.

[00:21:33] When we're driving...

[00:21:34] Because this is a great thing for everybody.

[00:21:37] When we're driving, if somebody cuts us off, it's not personal.

[00:21:40] It's not like, hey, there's Dave.

[00:21:41] Let's get them.

[00:21:42] Unless it is.

[00:21:44] It's that you were distracted or you didn't notice that your lane was ending or whatever it is.

[00:21:49] And you cut somebody off.

[00:21:50] When you cut somebody off and you might be like, oh, sorry.

[00:21:54] That triggers me to do my laughter yoga.

[00:21:56] So I launch into my laughter yoga.

[00:21:57] Oh, thanks for cutting me off.

[00:21:58] And I start flailing my arm.

[00:22:00] I'm laughing.

[00:22:01] And it looks like I'm mad.

[00:22:03] So the person's looking in their mirror.

[00:22:05] And they're like, oh my God, that chick's cuckoo.

[00:22:07] And so I actually get more space because they try to get away from me.

[00:22:11] Get away from you, yeah.

[00:22:13] And I'm doing my laughter yoga.

[00:22:15] So I'm laughing.

[00:22:17] And so I arrive at my destination fully oxygenated, secreting the love drugs.

[00:22:22] So we can trick our mind.

[00:22:24] We can go into stress or we can change our reaction.

[00:22:29] It's how we react to what's presented.

[00:22:32] How can a, and this is an interesting question.

[00:22:35] How can a small indoor garden help a guy who's stressed, been through divorce, sharing his kids?

[00:22:43] How can a little indoor garden, because I'm a big proponent of men getting out of the box and doing different things.

[00:22:50] How can an indoor garden help with that?

[00:22:53] Oh, so many ways.

[00:22:54] Having nature inside, we're really disconnected from nature.

[00:22:58] And that's one of the big problems today.

[00:23:00] One of the big stressors is that we consider ourselves as different from nature and we're just a part of it.

[00:23:07] So having plants in the house, having a, especially an edible garden, growing some herbs or growing some lettuce or something that is edible.

[00:23:17] It's a beautiful thing to do with your children, first of all.

[00:23:20] And I would say even having a worm bin, which is what I'm advocating, having a worm bin in the house, you manage your scraps.

[00:23:27] It's a wonderful, it is a wonderful lesson, science lesson for the kids.

[00:23:31] And the kids get to manage.

[00:23:33] The worms will eat the food scraps and the paper.

[00:23:35] And then their poop is the black gold.

[00:23:37] That's the nutrient rich soil.

[00:23:40] And so it's fixing our soil.

[00:23:42] In North America, we've destroyed our soil by doing monocropping.

[00:23:46] Corn, wheat, and soy.

[00:23:48] Acres and acres.

[00:23:49] That's not how nature intended.

[00:23:51] Because we have acres and acres, we need to apply a lot of chemicals.

[00:23:55] And now our soil is addicted to the chemicals.

[00:23:57] And the chemical engineers are brilliant.

[00:23:59] They're super smart.

[00:24:01] Nothing against what they're doing.

[00:24:02] Almost like nicotine.

[00:24:06] Almost, right?

[00:24:07] And genetically modified.

[00:24:08] And now these chemicals are so resistant.

[00:24:12] People think they can just bring home their vegetables and wash them with water.

[00:24:17] No, if that was the case, they would wash off in the rain.

[00:24:20] They don't.

[00:24:22] They're sticking there.

[00:24:23] And sometimes they're going right in the vegetable.

[00:24:26] So when we eat it, we're eating those asides because we're trying to kill the bugs.

[00:24:32] Anything that ends with a side, pesticide, herbicide, fungicide means death.

[00:24:37] It's a killer.

[00:24:38] It's a killer.

[00:24:39] Yeah.

[00:24:40] Just like stress.

[00:24:42] Yeah.

[00:24:43] What kind of tips and tricks can you give to my men over 40 in dealing with their kids?

[00:24:49] Because that's stressful.

[00:24:50] And one of my therapists or one of my guests was talking about the,

[00:24:54] Oh God, thank God for editing.

[00:24:56] What was that called?

[00:24:58] Oh, it was called the Jack in the Box Dad, where the week he has the kids, he's go.

[00:25:03] And then the kids are gone and he's cool.

[00:25:06] He's done for a week.

[00:25:07] And it's like a roller coaster.

[00:25:09] How can they stay busy when they don't have the kids?

[00:25:13] And what are some of the ways they can keep it even keel when they do have the kids?

[00:25:18] Yeah.

[00:25:20] It's all about that self-care and the self-love.

[00:25:23] Every day having a practice.

[00:25:26] It's managing our nervous system.

[00:25:28] It's very simple, but not easy.

[00:25:30] It's a practice.

[00:25:32] And since 2020, I've had this incredible practice, daily practice.

[00:25:37] I put me first.

[00:25:39] And that's what I would suggest for your men.

[00:25:41] And put yourself first.

[00:25:43] And then when we come to any situation whole, we can deal easier.

[00:25:50] First thing in the morning, I don't wake up by alarm.

[00:25:53] But if you wake up by alarm, that's fine.

[00:25:56] When I wake up, I don't jump out of bed.

[00:25:58] I lay there.

[00:26:00] Three deep, beautiful, long breaths.

[00:26:03] And with each breath, I think about something I'm grateful for.

[00:26:06] And this is a practice too.

[00:26:08] It may be hard.

[00:26:10] Oh, so many things are going on.

[00:26:12] What am I got to be grateful for?

[00:26:13] Just think about it.

[00:26:15] Like where you live or that you're healthy, that you woke up.

[00:26:18] Hallelujah.

[00:26:19] That's a start.

[00:26:19] So it can be something very small.

[00:26:22] Three beautiful, deep breaths.

[00:26:24] Slowly get out of bed.

[00:26:25] Don't jump out of bed.

[00:26:26] And when the alarm goes, certainly don't go through your to-do list for the day.

[00:26:32] There's time.

[00:26:33] Like, don't do that.

[00:26:35] Because what happens is we go through our list.

[00:26:37] Oh, I got that meeting today.

[00:26:39] Oh, I got to do all that things.

[00:26:41] I got to.

[00:26:42] And so that puts us in a state of stress, just like to start our day.

[00:26:45] Then we get out of bed, we stub our toe.

[00:26:48] And we're like, ah.

[00:26:49] And then all the things that follow.

[00:26:51] If we start our day with gratitude, slowly get out of bed.

[00:26:55] Out of bed.

[00:26:56] I have a giant glass of water after I do my bathroom stuff.

[00:27:01] Because we've been laying all night, our body's stagnant.

[00:27:05] So that is like flushing the toilet.

[00:27:07] It flushes our system.

[00:27:08] And if we're supposed to drink a certain number of glasses of water each day,

[00:27:13] I drink one in the morning, one at night.

[00:27:15] That knocks out two of my glasses right off the bat.

[00:27:18] Then I can fit the other ones in.

[00:27:20] Wow.

[00:27:21] I go outside.

[00:27:23] I'm in Canada.

[00:27:24] So in the dead of winter, I'm not outside.

[00:27:27] But I'll go outside and I'll earth, which is being barefoot on the grass.

[00:27:32] Or you can do it on the cement as well.

[00:27:35] But on the grass is beautiful.

[00:27:37] It doesn't have to be a long time.

[00:27:39] It can be just a few minutes.

[00:27:41] I'm an early riser.

[00:27:43] So I'll be out there 6 or 6.30 in the morning.

[00:27:45] First sun on your eye resets your melatonin.

[00:27:49] So you'll sleep better.

[00:27:51] So it's really a beautiful thing.

[00:27:54] And then I do some gentle stretches.

[00:27:56] Just connecting.

[00:27:57] I do some tapping, which is emotional freedom technique.

[00:28:00] I add in that.

[00:28:02] My whole time outside is maybe five to seven minutes.

[00:28:06] And it's just my time.

[00:28:07] I don't go a day now without that.

[00:28:09] Because if I get up and just jump right into my day, my whole day is off.

[00:28:16] Taking this practice for me sets me up for a wonderful day where I'm calm.

[00:28:21] I'm grounded.

[00:28:23] And I can handle challenges more easily.

[00:28:27] Wow.

[00:28:28] If you could leave our listeners with one key takeaway about the importance of sustainability and wellness,

[00:28:36] what would it be?

[00:28:37] It would be to really take care of yourself.

[00:28:42] We need to look after the others, the kids, and whatever, the relationship with the ex,

[00:28:47] and all these things that we have to do.

[00:28:49] We're so important.

[00:28:51] We've not been taught to look after ourselves.

[00:28:53] It's always, oh, don't be selfish.

[00:28:55] Oh, we need to learn how to say no, especially as women.

[00:28:59] But men too.

[00:29:01] I feel like men need more groups.

[00:29:04] And today, there are more groups.

[00:29:07] I'm so grateful for this podcast.

[00:29:09] Because men and women are not separate.

[00:29:11] It's not, oh, we need women's groups and men's group.

[00:29:13] Women are natural talkers.

[00:29:15] We talk.

[00:29:16] And I think that's why we live longer.

[00:29:18] Because we don't hold it in.

[00:29:19] And I would really love to see men expressing themselves more, feeling the feels.

[00:29:25] And I know it sounds good.

[00:29:26] But we need to feel it to heal it.

[00:29:28] What is that anger that you're feeling?

[00:29:30] What is it really?

[00:29:32] And then let it go.

[00:29:33] And then, okay, there you are, anger.

[00:29:36] Anger's not a bad thing.

[00:29:38] Emotions are just energy in motion.

[00:29:40] They're not good or bad.

[00:29:42] They just are.

[00:29:43] We just need to look at them.

[00:29:45] Sometimes we suppress them.

[00:29:47] Like I talk about trauma.

[00:29:48] When we have a trauma, we take a deep breath in.

[00:29:51] And it gets into our body.

[00:29:54] And then the next one goes on top and on top.

[00:29:56] And all of a sudden, we're so stiff.

[00:29:58] We're just walking around.

[00:29:59] A walking trauma.

[00:30:01] We don't even know why.

[00:30:02] In nature, if a rabbit gets chased by a predator, if it survives, it goes somewhere and it shakes it off.

[00:30:10] It doesn't hold on.

[00:30:11] Oh, I'm good.

[00:30:13] What do we do?

[00:30:14] If we trip in public, we might be really injured, but we jump up.

[00:30:17] Oh, no, I'm okay.

[00:30:19] Because our ego is hurt.

[00:30:22] Yeah.

[00:30:23] I would say really find a group that you can come together.

[00:30:28] There are more men's groups coming together.

[00:30:31] Go and talk together.

[00:30:33] Go and get, because we're all the same.

[00:30:35] You're all experiencing similar things.

[00:30:40] All right.

[00:30:42] Like I said, man, my men are about 30 minutes in.

[00:30:44] How can our audience connect with you and learn more about your work and initiatives?

[00:30:50] I have a free laughter club online.

[00:30:53] It's over four years, David.

[00:30:56] I started June 2020.

[00:30:57] It's 30 minutes of super fun self-care on Zoom, 930 a.m. Eastern.

[00:31:03] I incorporate topping, Qigong, Brain Gym.

[00:31:07] Everybody's welcome.

[00:31:08] Come experience the magic of laughing for the health of it.

[00:31:11] But it might become your new addiction.

[00:31:13] There you go.

[00:31:15] It's kathysclub.com.

[00:31:17] Okay.

[00:31:17] And I'll have all those at the bottom of the show notes.

[00:31:20] But thank you for this interesting podcast.

[00:31:22] This has been more different than anything I've done.

[00:31:27] I can't think of anything I've done anything like this at all.

[00:31:30] Thank you.

[00:31:31] Gibberish argument.

[00:31:32] Remember that next time you're...

[00:31:34] Gibberish argument.

[00:31:35] Oh, man.

[00:31:36] I could just see her face, too.

[00:31:38] Whoa.

[00:31:38] What are you doing?

[00:31:39] I don't know what I'm doing.

[00:31:41] I can't help myself.

[00:31:42] Right.

[00:31:43] And then all of a sudden you're both laughing because...

[00:31:46] Yes.

[00:31:47] It's ridiculous.

[00:31:48] But so is arguing.

[00:31:49] Because then you're just stressed, arguing.

[00:31:51] Not logic at all.

[00:31:52] It's just emotion.

[00:31:53] It's more positive.

[00:31:55] Totally.

[00:31:56] All right, Kathy.

[00:31:57] Hold on to the mic here.

[00:31:58] And we'll sign off.

[00:31:59] But everybody, thanks for listening.

[00:32:01] And have a good day.