From Sailing to Healing: Alan’s Journey Through Divorce, Cancer, and Success || DPTSP #093 || David

[00:00:00] Today on the podcast, I'm thrilled to welcome Alan, a man whose incredible journey is nothing short of inspiring. Alan started his life on the seas, living on a sailboat and running a successful boat rental business in the south of France. But six years later, he felt a deeper calling, sold everything, moved to the U.S., Kansas City, or other places. Moved to the U.S., followed his passion of becoming a chiropractic physician. While he achieved the American dream, Alan's life took an unexpected turn.

[00:00:30] Business struggles, divorce, colon cancer diagnosis led him on a transformational journey. Through these challenges, Alan discovered his groundbreaking mind-clearing system, a three-step process, which we're going to talk about, to break limiting beliefs and achieve vibrant health, harmonious relationship, and prosperity. Now Alan is dedicated to teaching others how to transform their lives. His story is one of resilience, reinvention, and purpose.

[00:00:58] I couldn't be more excited to share it with you today because we already bonded, baby. Yes. So Alan, tell them my listeners a little about yourself. I got some questions for you. Welcome to the Don't Pick the SCAB podcast with the premise of connecting men over 40 with the tools and community to thrive in their divorce recovery either before, during, or after a divorce.

[00:01:22] Bonjour, David, and thank you for the intro. So obviously, I've got a tiny, very tiny accent, right? I was born and raised in south of France. And like you say, I used to live on my sailing boat and rent boat in south of France. My work is my passion. I'm so lucky because a mission in life has been given to me and I'm living it. So what else do you need from life, right?

[00:01:45] Yep. Can you take us back in your life, a time on the sailboat? What did the chapter, what was that chapter like about the freedom and your responsibility when you were doing the sailboat thing?

[00:01:58] Yeah. And after some analysis of mine, freedom is really the key word because my dad was really authoritarian, right? He was very controlling and very negative. Matter of fact, he got sick. He was 40 years old and got on disability and never recovered. Of course, either you become like your dad or you grow.

[00:02:17] Yeah, I went totally opposite. So what is the symbolism of freedom? It's a boat, of course. You work with nature, nature bring you, you just follow the wind. And so that's why I believe that I just went into the boating things, right? So not only I did sail around the Mediterranean Sea, but also I made it my business. And because I really wanted to travel and discover the world. I started my own business. I was 22 years old. I was pretty young, right?

[00:02:45] But always, you know what I used to say, I used to say traveling is like a virus. And when you've got it, there's no cure for it. That's for life. So sure enough, I was like talking about freedom. I was working like and partying, to be honest. I was young. So partying like seven months a year and working seven months a year. And the rest of the year I was sailing or I was buying a hair fair in the South Hemisphere, chasing the sun. I was a sun chaser for six, seven years. Oh yeah, at least seven years.

[00:03:15] I didn't know what snow was. So that was the kind of life that everybody think, man, that's pretty cool. And that something was missing. And friends got one day out of calling and I saw myself helping people. And I'm trying. Nobody in my family was involved with health care. Or I know you told me that your dad was a DO and to have that. So I started to talk to my clients, right? And one of my clients told me, you know what? There's a Chinese doctor is coming to town. Do you want to talk to him?

[00:03:43] I say, hey, finally a door opened, right? Because I had the feeling there was a wall and there was no door to get to the other side. I talked to the guy and he told me, he gave me like three books to read. Some philosophy. One was about the Tao Te Ching, which is a deep philosophy, Chinese book, right? The other one was called the HKRA, which is about, that's why Japanese people kill themselves in the belly, right?

[00:04:09] Because it's the center of gravity of a human being. And there's a philosophy that goes with that. And the last book was The Man Between Earth and the Sky, which is an acupuncture book. So sure enough, I went to see the guy. We talked about, he gave me a treatment after the season was over. And I asked him about Chinese medicine, right? And he said, Alan, if you really want to know what you're doing, you need to go to China, spend 10 years in China, learn Chinese, study the old text.

[00:04:38] Just one day. Man, you look strong. Why not chiropractic? Why not chiropractic? And I answer him, what's that? So he gave me all the information about that, the school and everything. And so I got that translated by one of my best friends. She was an English teacher, right? And sure enough, what I love about that was what we call the innate intelligence, our own ability to heal ourselves.

[00:05:02] And this always has been kind of a theme of mine, because that asks the question, the deeper question, why we experience what we experience? Why we leave such a thing, why we are going through divorce, why we can go from prosperity to have a business feeling, why our health can be impacted. What is the cause behind it? Because I've learned one thing in my life for sure, sir. It's this, David.

[00:05:29] When you've got a problem, it can be a health problem, it can be a relationship problem, it can be whatever prosperity problem. You need to know two things in order to resolve your problem permanently. Meaning there's no more problem. You don't even think about it. We don't talk about it. We are moving on. And those two things are. Number one, you need to know what's causing your problem. If you don't know what's causing your problem, how can you resolve it, right? And number two, you need to know how to fix it.

[00:05:57] So if you know what's causing your problem, how to fix it, you're done. And that really is going to be the theme of my path, my journey in life for all the problems I encounter. So how did your divorce and your diagnosis with colon cancer reshape your outlook on life? Again, I wanted to know why. You know, why this happened?

[00:06:20] Why? Because I knew, like my intuition told me, David, my intuition told me that there was something within me that pushed me to sabotage my health, sabotage my relationship, and sabotage my prosperity. Because within a year, I went, started with a divorce, right? And because I was so busy helping all those people, right? I had a practice. I was seeing 250 patients a week, right? I had four employees that I taught how to do things, right? And so I said, I'm doing the right thing.

[00:06:50] That's my mission on life. But here's the problem. My life was totally unbalanced. And when I was coming home after working, I was there, but I was not present. My head was focused on the business. And so, of course, my relationship went down the drain. I had a daughter. Her name is Maya. And as you probably know, when you've got kids, a divorce is never a handshake, for sure. And so I started to, yeah, you see what I mean? So I got burned out and depressed.

[00:07:19] I even lost the juice of my passion of doing what I do. Of course, my business, because my head was not into it anymore. So my business went from thriving to failing. And I got the cherry on the cake. I got diagnosed with early stage of colon cancer, which is keep in mind that my business was about finding what kind of inflammation you've got in your body and what's causing it. So it was all about preventing you to experience cardiovascular disease and cancer.

[00:07:49] So I was doing my own program, and I got diagnosed with that. So I said, man, I had to reinvent myself to rethink about everything in my life for my health, which was my job, basically, which is my job. I'm a relationship and prosperity. Wow. What were the moments when you felt like giving up, and how did you push through? What really helped me is, first of all, I had the example of my dad, remember, that was very controlling and negative.

[00:08:19] So I've never been a victim in a way, right? Because I remember people will call him and say, oh, Jean, how are you doing? Meaning he basically, after consciously or subconsciously, we're going to talk about the subconscious today. Subconsciously, he identified with his disease. So subconsciously, you think, oh, they call me and so they love me because of my disease, right? So I'm going to stay sick. And this guy never got back to work, right?

[00:08:46] And his disease got worse and worse, right? So I knew that was not the way to go. He showed me what not to do, if you want, right? So I know that there was something I had to take responsibility within myself. Again, there was something within me. And also what really helped me is this, like, I knew that through my healing, I will be able to help my patients much better, much deeper.

[00:09:12] So that was a good motivation because not only will help myself, but also other people. And that's what really made it. I was lucky in a way to have that drive of helping other people too. That's pretty cool. Looking back on your sailing life back in the day when you were sailing and having a great time, what did you bring from that into your professional life of being a chiropractor? What are some of the positives that you brought?

[00:09:41] Yeah, the things that I brought, like that problem-solving things, because you have to understand that even I'm a chiropractic physician by best, but what I do has nothing to do with chiropractic, because I created even techniques within the physical, to do physical stress, including the mind clearing, which is a mind thing, right? So what really helped me is, like, I understood what was the most frustrating things for me to be, like, in a foreign country and not speaking the language.

[00:10:09] Trust me, I know a lot about that, coming, immigrating from France to America. But even when traveling before coming to the U.S., the most frustrating things for me was I wanted to communicate with somebody that I thought was cool, and like you've got some energy connection, right, and something like that, because we're not speaking the same language. So what I've learned in order to be able to communicate to the mind, for example, you need to speak the same language.

[00:10:37] If you don't speak the same language, how far can you go? Oh, remember we had some problem, and it was on my side, right? That I couldn't hear you. So imagine we have no audio now. How far are we going to go with a podcast? I'm going to have to do some language. I'm going to have to write down some stuff. That's not good, right? So that's really the main things that, and also that everybody is different. There's one thing that I've learned for healing and for everything, that we are all different.

[00:11:05] So we have to find what are the common traits, what are the commonalities that we can change, like that we can help people in general. Wow. Let's shift gears here. What is the mind-clearing system? How does it work, and what is it? Yeah, and so basically, it comes out of the research that I did to the mind. I wanted to know what's causing it, and we talk about what we call mind-body connection, right?

[00:11:30] And so I had to explore the mind, and what I found David was, if I can say, mind-blowing. It really was. And so I'm going to tell you stuff that your audience better be – if you are standing up, guys, sit down, please. If you are sitting down, buckle up. Because what I'm going to tell you is going to hopefully, that's my goal, make you rethink of actually who you are and how your mind –

[00:11:57] first of all, we kind of live in a two separate world at the same time. So what do I mean by that? There's what we call the outer world, right? So the outer world is what we call our conscious mind, right? So it's basically our self-identity, who you think you are as David, right? Your personality, David, and also what you're aware of, your thought, your emotion, your feeling, your behavior, and your action,

[00:12:25] what you think you can do, and what you think you cannot. That's your conscious mind. And after we've got a mysterious, hidden mind, and we call that the unconscious, but just to make it simple, Did you say hidden or did you say heathen? Did you say hidden or heathen? Hidden, okay, all right. Hidden mind, mysterious mind, secretive mind. Okay, so that's called the subconscious mind. And so this subconscious mind do different things.

[00:12:54] And the first thing is just going to record everything you have been doing in your life. It's stored in your subconscious mind. All your skills as a dentist, all your skills as a podcaster, all your skills as a father, all your skills as a man in a marriage, for example, are stored in that subconscious mind. But also all the process in your body that operates automatically, like your heartbeat, you don't have to think about it, right?

[00:13:21] Your heartbeat, your breathing, all that is stored in your subconscious mind. I want to know how the subconscious mind, because it's so hidden and so creative, you know, how powerful it is. Here's some things for you. The first things, the conscious mind process data at 11 bit per second. The subconscious mind process data at 11 million bit per second. I say, wow, one million times more powerful. You see what I mean? So that got my intention, right?

[00:13:51] And after this is the one that you guys need to be sit down. What I'm going to tell you is just amazing. Now, if you make the ratio between the conscious mind and the subconscious mind depends who you're reading. But you can Google what I'm saying anytime. You're going to see that your conscious mind, who you think you are, your self identity. It's only, David, five or 10 percent of your mind, meaning that the subconscious mind is 90 to 95 percent of your mind.

[00:14:18] And yet what we focus on for healing, growth and transformation is our conscious mind. Meaning we are using five or 10 percent of our mind power. And you know that. That's so smart. Yeah. And you're a doctor. You know that. Because like the placebo effect. That's what it is. So basically, what is the placebo effect for people who are listening to us and they are not totally aware what it is? Let's see. I go to a study and it's called I've got heartburn. Right.

[00:14:48] And so that study said, you're going to try. We can try that pill and it's going to stop your heartburn. So I take the pill. No more heartburn. I say, wow, that pill is working very well. But you know what? They tell me, actually, you didn't have the pill. You had a sugar pill. So meanings that the belief that pill will heal me did actually heal me. That's how powerful our mind are. Right. So all of the research, double blind study and all that's done with.

[00:15:17] We want to make sure we rule out the placebo effect. Now, is it a placebo effect or is it how really healing is supposed to work? You see what I mean? And that was my research. That's why I say, OK, whatever. Maybe we are. Maybe we have a placebo, actually. What if we believe that this is going to happen? Right. What if we believe that we can go smoothly through our divorce?

[00:15:41] What we believe that even though all the stress around us, we still can have peace of mind and keep our open heart. Right. What if we believe that we can find another relationship? What if we believe that even though I've got a daughter, that we still can be in good terms and be a good match? Right. And have a relationship between the father and daughter that we have. What if? And that's how the mind clearing came about. Right.

[00:16:09] So then what are the three steps of limiting beliefs? That's the key of everything. So how does it work? Because how can it be programmed, right? When it's like this. Let's pretend. Let's take an example. Let's pretend there's a little girl that see her dad beat up the mom. He's an alcoholic. Right, David? Beat up the mom every single night. What do you think that little girl is going to attract as a romantic relationship when she's in age to have one?

[00:16:39] What kind of man do you think she's more likely to attract? A man like her dad. That's it. So now there's two things that I want to pinpoint to our audience, right? So number one thing. If you ask that woman now, right? She's a woman. And you say, hey, do you enjoy to get beat up like your mom? She's going to say, heck no. So it means the conscious mind is going to say no.

[00:17:03] But the subconscious mind has been programmed as men are predators and women are prey. Now there's a question that came up, David. Are she going to attract the man? We all agree she's going to attract the man, right? Correct. Is she going to say, hey, you, come on, shake his hand and say, please, can you beat me up? That's obviously not how it's going to work. So it means our subconscious mind has to be connected.

[00:17:33] Remember, the subconscious mind was not aware of what's going on in there, right? So they have to be connected. And the subconscious mind is going to go like that. So on the woman's side, she's going to say, hey, this guy's got the predator program. He has been bullied and now he's a bully. And on the other side, on the man's side, you say, oh, she's a prey. She has been preyed on and all that. And she's got that program. And so polarity attracts. Opposite attracts.

[00:18:00] And they're going to start, like you say in English, right? It takes two to tango. And they're going to start that relationship. And they're going to fall in love. They're going to be attracted to each other. So what I want to pinpoint here that we are all programmed, but also for people who are listening to us and wonder how come we attract this kind of partner. That's not necessarily negative, right? It's good to be aware of what I call a conscious relationship.

[00:18:30] Being aware when I remarry, for example. Let's take my example. I remarry, right? And now I've got to, before I say, okay, let's do that, right? Actually, she asked me. I say, okay, before we do that, I say, okay, I think we are together for those three reasons. I'm going to keep it because it's personal, right? But I told her the three reasons. And I say, okay, do you want still to sign up? And she said, yes. So that's more conscious relationship.

[00:18:59] When you go a little bit deeper and you identify why this person and not another. And it's because of those programs that we have. So we've got basically two kinds of programs, David. We've got programs that are serving us, that are in our subconscious mind. And we call that empowering belief. It means that it's when our mind is working for us instead of working against us. And after we've got programs that are not serving us any longer.

[00:19:28] And those are called limiting beliefs. And it's like, we all experience that, like time that our mind is not working for us. It's working against us. We say, why am I doing all that? Why am I repeating the same pattern? Why am I sabotaging every relationship that I am into? That's because of those programs that are out there. So they can be born from that little girl was like, how can I say that? That was like a repetitive trauma, if you want.

[00:19:55] Or in case of PTSD, that can be a big trauma that's going to affect your life in so many different aspects. Because it does affect your entire mind. Does it make sense to you? Big time. What do you tell a man who's going through, let's talk about co-parenting. His co-parenting phase is very acrimonious. There's not a whole lot of positivity going on. How does a man over 40 co-parent in a shit show?

[00:20:25] How does he get his mind right? How does he do his mindset in order to be a good, the best father he can be, even though the co-parenting situation is crap? So I'm lucky enough that with my ex-wife, it didn't happen that way because our interest was, it was not about us. It was about the kid. So you have to keep that in mind. It's not about you, man. It's not about you, woman. It's about the kid, right? So that's the most important things, number one.

[00:20:52] And so if you think that way, don't talk negatively as much as you can about your spouse. You just, that's I think the big things because it doesn't help the kid. That's all. When you think you have to have that mindset. Okay. This is, I don't. One time my daughter told me, yeah, we divorced and things like that. And at one point I told her I'm done feeling guilty. And I was serious. And she knows when I'm done. And I'm done feeling guilty now.

[00:21:21] We all have some experiences that we have to go through. I have to go through an experience with my dad. It happened that your experience is to be a divorce. But here, I'm here for you. I've always been there for you. I'm not present with you. I understand that. If you can call me anytime, day and night. And you know that I will be there for you, right? We all have things in our life that we have to deal with. And so if you want to feel negative about that and stay in that way, not only is it going to create some distance within us,

[00:21:51] but it's going to affect you the most. Because all that negativity is going to stay in your body. All your cells are going to vibrate with that negativity. It's not good for you either. So either you understand that or you still want to play the game that you want to play, right? Because I can show you my true love. And so that's why I told my daughter. Since I told her that, the relationship turned. And also she did accept from me to treat her emotionally, which really helped too.

[00:22:20] What about men and self-care? We suck at. I talked about this before. We suck at taking care of ourselves. We take care of everybody. But when the plan goes down, you put your mask on first. And let's speak to that. How can you tell men how to take care of themselves first? Yeah, I understand that. I've been practicing 28 years of care practice. I've seen so many women dragging their men to get some care. Because I think it's societal in a way because we have to be tough.

[00:22:48] We have to be the pillier and all that. So we think we've got our mind. Sometimes we're doing the right thing by not complaining. And here's the thing. You cannot give what you don't have. So if you don't have peace in mind, if you don't have anger, how are you going to be able to love your kids? How are you going to be able to love back the people that love you? So that's why you need to, since you cannot give what you don't have, you need to work on yourself.

[00:23:17] I believe that's the goal of life. It's to work on yourself. To become a better person or you can be, like they say, in the military. But that's really what it is, right? You want to better yourself in life, right? And that's why we've got all those life experiences that maybe, of course, we judge negative. But either you are a victim and you say, oh, why me? You're going to blame your wife. You're going to blame this and that. And never look in front. Look at yourself, right?

[00:23:44] And take responsibility because it takes two to tango, like we said before, right? You just understand there's a lesson there for me to learn, right? Let's learn that lesson. Like I'm not going to reproduce that again and again in my relationship. Like I'm creating my relationship with my daughter, including my relationship with my kids. Do you want to portray the masculine in that way to your daughter or to your son? So it's all about the kids, right?

[00:24:12] And so that can give you lots of incentive for you to change. If it's not for yourself, which I recommend it has to be for yourself first, obviously, but at least do it for your kids. If you could leave listeners with one key takeaway from all this journey, what would it be? First of all, what's happening to you, it's not your fault. It's not your fault if you went through divorce and all that. You've got probably some program.

[00:24:39] I mean, for sure, negative programming that has been controlling you in a way. That's what it is, right? It's controlling you. We think we are all in control and all that. It's our choices, but it's only 5% or 10% of our mind. Which one is the most powerful, right? And first of all, yeah. And there's hope. We can have a mind clearing. The three steps, you ask me. It's like you've got a program in your computer. You don't like it. What are you going to do? You're going to delete it, right? And you're going to replace a program that will be more performant.

[00:25:08] Like that, what you're going to see on the screen, like the screen of life or the screen of your computer. You're going to be able to create something that you love and that you want. So you get rid of what you don't want. You download what you want. And after you create, manifest that into your life. So meanings that we are so much more powerful than we think we are. Because we're using only 5, 10% of our mind. So the mind clearing, what it does, it brings the subconscious mind to the party.

[00:25:36] We speak the same language, but the subconscious mind, like that you say, no, I don't want this. I want this instead. And I want, therefore, I want to create this into my life. If you've got some. All right, Alan, man, I like your passion. Hey, 90, 90, 10, baby, 90, 10. Tell my guys out there where to find you on the internet. All right, there you go. All right. All right, Alan, we appreciate your time and your expertise.

[00:26:04] Coming from Gladstone, Missouri, we're definitely going to come back and revisit this. This was fun. I really appreciate you taking the time to hang out with me and my listeners and go from there. But hold on to the line and we'll close it out. Don't go anywhere.