In this episode, David and Chantel Landreville discuss the importance of love skills and self-awareness in navigating relationships, especially during and after a divorce. They explore how to create safe spaces for emotional healing, the dynamics of co-parenting, and the significance of self-care and humility in personal growth. The conversation emphasizes the need for men to seek support and be truthful with themselves as they recover from divorce and build new relationships.
Takeaways:
Everything I teach applies to any relationship.
You need to be able to define what you want.
Self-awareness starts with asking yourself why.
It's okay to let yourself feel these feelings.
Get support instead of going through it alone.
You have to take ownership in it.
Safety cannot come from alone; it's an environment.
Self-care is about finding things that make you happy.
Humility is such a powerful quality.
Find your words and do that exercise.
Sound Bites:
"Everything I teach is applicable to any relationship."
"You need to be able to define what you want."
"It's okay to let yourself feel these feelings."
Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.
[00:00:00] Welcome to the Don't Pick the Scab Podcast, the podcast that explores and present guests that can provide divorcing or divorce men over 40 with tools and advice to help them in their divorce recovery.
[00:00:11] Welcome back and back Chantal Landreville to the show.
[00:00:17] To her website, Raise Your Love Signal, her superpower is helping people find or just be available for love, getting her clients the proper love skills and attract the right partner.
[00:00:29] Welcome to the Don't Pick the Scab Podcast with the premise of connecting men over 40 with the tools and community to thrive in their divorce recovery either before, during or after a divorce.
[00:00:43] Last time she was on the show, we talked about finding the right partner, but this time I want to talk about using those skills to get through life because we just had a conversation getting through life.
[00:00:55] Chantal, welcome to the show.
[00:00:56] Thank you.
[00:00:57] Let's talk about the love skills and attracting the right partner as in terms of attracting the right people in your life.
[00:01:05] Just the people, friends.
[00:01:08] So friends.
[00:01:09] Oh, we're okay.
[00:01:11] So you're taking me.
[00:01:12] Well,
[00:01:15] Yes, it's okay.
[00:01:17] I love it.
[00:01:18] So for me, when I talk about love, dating and relationships, and even though I specialize in that, I always say that everything I teach is applicable to any relationship with another human being.
[00:01:31] So I just want to be clear that the more you learn these skills, you can actually apply them to every area of your life, whether that is with friends, with family, with coworkers.
[00:01:42] So just to be clear on that.
[00:01:45] So when we talk about surrounding ourselves with the proper people around us, it's if you're looking for the right partner.
[00:01:52] And I think we talked about this the last time is that you got to get clear on what your needs are.
[00:01:57] And you got to get clear on what really matters to you.
[00:02:01] And what you're willing to compromise on and what you're willing to put up with and all of these things.
[00:02:07] So again, for me, it starts with self-awareness.
[00:02:11] You need to be able to get clear on why you want what you want and be able to define why you want what you want or need.
[00:02:21] So if you're looking for a specific kind of friendship, you need to be able to define what it is that I'm actually looking for and a kind of friendship.
[00:02:31] And here's why is that nobody's perfect.
[00:02:36] We both know that.
[00:02:37] And I think that we often tend to think that people or have the expectation that people should be perfect for us when we have them around us.
[00:02:45] But people have the good and the bad and you need to decide what really matters to be able to filter when the bad will come through and overcompensate it with the good.
[00:02:57] And I give it again this example of the 80-20 rule.
[00:03:02] When we select a partner, we typically end up with like 80% of what we're looking for because it's very rare that you'll get 100% of what you want.
[00:03:11] There's that little 20% glitches that you're like, okay, but I got 80%.
[00:03:16] And then as we start getting into the relationship, and this is even with friends, we start focusing on the 20% instead of remembering the 80% this person is actually delivering.
[00:03:31] So we have to remember, and that's why I say create the vision and understand your why behind the want of what you're looking for.
[00:03:39] Because when these things happen, you can catch yourself and say, oh, okay, this person, for example, I have a girlfriend.
[00:03:48] We don't call each other on a regular basis.
[00:03:51] We will send each other messages or as a lot of people are doing right now is the memes.
[00:03:56] It's our way of communicating because we do not live in the same city.
[00:04:01] However, this friend of mine told me whenever I do go back home, I try to see and scramble as many people as I can.
[00:04:08] So I do a lunch here.
[00:04:09] I'll have a coffee there.
[00:04:11] And this friend told me, what, Chantal?
[00:04:13] I need a full day with you when you come.
[00:04:17] If you want to see me for an hour, I feel like I'm on the clock.
[00:04:21] I feel like I'm just like being checked off the list.
[00:04:23] I don't like how that makes me feel.
[00:04:25] You need to give me the day.
[00:04:27] So as a friend, I could have said, who the hell do you think you are?
[00:04:33] Don't you want my presence or at least an hour is better than nothing.
[00:04:37] But he was able to define why he needed what he needed and explain it to me on a really reasonable level.
[00:04:46] And because I love this friend so much and I honor and respect and I remember the 80% of the friendship,
[00:04:52] I was like, you know what, thank you for telling me it's noted and I will make a point to make the time for you properly as the way you requested it to honor our friendship.
[00:05:02] And I do that now.
[00:05:05] Thank God all your friends didn't ask for that.
[00:05:10] Oh, my God.
[00:05:12] Yes.
[00:05:12] I would see people once a year.
[00:05:14] How can you lean into the self-awareness if you have a guy who's going through a devastating divorce?
[00:05:21] What part of that self-awareness can he lean into in order to recover?
[00:05:27] Oh, that's a great question as well.
[00:05:28] You always ask great questions.
[00:05:30] Again, for me, it's really being able to sit in a still space and ask yourself why.
[00:05:39] Observe yourself why things happen.
[00:05:43] How did I show up?
[00:05:45] Why did I react or get triggered the way that I have done?
[00:05:49] You need to be able to answer your questions because here's the key with self-awareness.
[00:05:55] Nobody knows you like you do.
[00:05:57] You really hold all the answers within because my walk of life versus your walk of life are very different.
[00:06:05] So here I am.
[00:06:06] I could give you all the best tips and advice possible, but what works for me will not necessarily work for you because of your walk of life.
[00:06:14] So that's why in coaching, the great thing about coaching is making you ask yourself the proper questions because you're the one that knows the answer.
[00:06:24] And I think sometimes when we lack self-awareness is we're afraid to actually ask ourselves that question.
[00:06:29] We're especially afraid to sit in stillness to actually reflect.
[00:06:33] So it's really about reflecting and that's why journaling is also a really great piece for people that are starting their self-awareness journey to write down what they're thinking, what they're processing, and what they're realizing as they're processing it.
[00:06:51] And it's funny that you're asking me this question today because yesterday, last night I was sitting on the couch with my fiance.
[00:06:58] He was coming from an event and I had a friend earlier yesterday that I had coffee with that we hadn't seen each other in four years.
[00:07:06] And I had a lot to fill her out in because I not only went from being single for 18 years to all of a sudden being in a relationship for six, getting engaged, writing a book about love.
[00:07:15] She was like, how did your man go from, because I actually shared that he was one of those douchebag guys and really has evolved and done the work and changed.
[00:07:25] And she asked me the question, how did he transform?
[00:07:28] What was the trigger point for him to say, oh shit, I need to change.
[00:07:34] And I was like, oh, I don't think I actually know the answer to that question.
[00:07:38] So I asked him yesterday, I realized one of the things was his divorce as any big challenge in our lives that will trigger some sort of like, oh, and he was at a point in his life that he just really wanted to do better and become better.
[00:07:55] And realized that he really needed to actually sit down and ask himself some serious questions.
[00:08:00] And that's why self-awareness is about getting to know who you are and why you want the things that you do.
[00:08:08] It's really, honestly, it's so simple.
[00:08:10] It's what are my whys and why do I want that?
[00:08:13] And when you, we can't answer these questions.
[00:08:16] One, it might be, you don't want things for the right reasons.
[00:08:19] You were conditioned to think that you wanted them.
[00:08:22] So hence why the why behind the why is really important to the journey of self-awareness.
[00:08:30] Wow.
[00:08:31] I was one of those guys that I'm never going to love again.
[00:08:34] I'm never going to find somebody again because you go through that ugly phase.
[00:08:39] What do you say to guys that go through that?
[00:08:42] And do we want to provide a soft landing for them or do we want them to go through the struggle?
[00:08:50] Because every guy says that basically that has been through a divorce.
[00:08:53] I'm never going to do this shit again.
[00:08:54] This is crazy.
[00:08:56] This is horrible.
[00:08:57] I'm never going to go through this again.
[00:08:58] How can we as people who like other people provide them some type of soft landing?
[00:09:05] One, I think it's okay to actually think what you just said.
[00:09:09] I'm never want to.
[00:09:10] I never want to go through this again.
[00:09:11] I hate myself.
[00:09:12] This is it.
[00:09:13] It's a process.
[00:09:14] It's like it's a grieving period.
[00:09:17] So to be okay with being not okay is number one, because you'll go through, especially as
[00:09:24] men from what I've heard.
[00:09:25] And I had discussions with my own fiance going through his divorce.
[00:09:28] It's you're feeling shame.
[00:09:29] You're feeling guilt.
[00:09:30] You're feeling failure.
[00:09:32] It's okay to let yourself feel these feelings.
[00:09:39] We repress so much.
[00:09:41] And especially as men, you're taught to repress and I'm strong and I got this and it's okay
[00:09:47] to feel these things and work through them.
[00:09:50] Give yourself permission to go through the motions.
[00:09:54] The other thing I would say that to make it on a soft landing is get support instead of
[00:10:02] going through it on your own or trying to manage everything on your own.
[00:10:06] Talk to someone that's been through it, right?
[00:10:09] Because there's no better person to understand what you're going through than someone that's
[00:10:14] actually experienced what you're going through and they're learning curves through it.
[00:10:18] And make sure that you address yourself to the proper people that have been through it
[00:10:22] because you could have a conversation with someone that's still in the grieving period
[00:10:27] where anger, frustrated, what all women are like this, all just, they're still in their
[00:10:32] victim mode instead of saying, again, that's where the self-awareness piece, asking yourself
[00:10:39] the questions.
[00:10:40] What did I learn from this?
[00:10:43] What, how can I grow from this experience?
[00:10:45] How can I make sure I do not do the same mistakes?
[00:10:48] And, um, if you're able to have that attitude instead of sticking in that victimized mode of
[00:10:55] not taking ownership in any shape or form, you will come out so much better.
[00:11:03] I think about my brother that went through a divorce.
[00:11:09] It's been over six years.
[00:11:10] The guy is still so angry and takes ownership for absolutely nothing.
[00:11:17] It is.
[00:11:18] And still until today, I asked him like, do you feel like, what do you feel now that you've
[00:11:22] taken a step back and time has gone by?
[00:11:25] What was your role in it?
[00:11:26] And he refuses to see any type of role, but that's not great.
[00:11:32] That's your, you're an angry and you're, yeah.
[00:11:34] And you're stuck one way street and you're a relationship has never been just about one
[00:11:38] person.
[00:11:39] You have to take ownership in it.
[00:11:41] We're two people coming together on how we show up and we do things together.
[00:11:45] Definitely get the help, get the support.
[00:11:47] And there's so many great tools.
[00:11:50] And I think the last thing I would say as a soft landing to do is have an open mind,
[00:11:55] have an open mind, cultivate an open mind on how you can grow, evolve, change, think.
[00:12:02] Because if you have an open mind, it creates this like soft spot in the system where healing
[00:12:12] will come to you in ways you could never expect.
[00:12:16] Where, for example, my brother refuses to have an open mind in any way and look at where he's
[00:12:22] still and he's not in a great place.
[00:12:24] He's not doing well financially.
[00:12:25] He's not doing well at work.
[00:12:27] So everything else comes with it because he's so narrow-minded and stuck in that mud, which
[00:12:33] kind of sucks.
[00:12:34] Let's shift gears to something we haven't talked about yet.
[00:12:37] Co-parenting.
[00:12:38] That's one of my big deals.
[00:12:39] With me and my co-parenting, we co-parented separate because it was still so acrimonious.
[00:12:46] But the love I have from my kids pushed me through my co-parenting because someone told
[00:12:54] me once that you're supposed to love your kids more than you hate your ex.
[00:12:58] Yeah, that was huge.
[00:13:00] But that love, which is different from friend love and everything else, that family love.
[00:13:07] Can you discuss that family love and why it's so precious and why it's so strong?
[00:13:12] So I do not have kids of my own.
[00:13:15] So I will never understand what the bond as a mother or as a father is with a child.
[00:13:22] I just want to say that.
[00:13:24] From what I am seeing and being in a reconstructed family, because Jeff, my fiancee has two kids,
[00:13:31] I see what you're saying about the strength of having the bond with your kids.
[00:13:38] I think everybody's different, but here's what I do want to say from not being a parent
[00:13:48] to being in a family where there are children.
[00:13:51] The one thing that my partner has done for me that I hadn't seen in a lot of relationships
[00:13:57] that are reconstructed is he's always made me feel like I'm just as much as a priority
[00:14:03] as his children, where oftentimes it's the children and your number two as a partner,
[00:14:10] which kind of creates this sense of, I don't want to say unfairness because,
[00:14:17] but there's always, it's like a competition.
[00:14:19] And depending on who the person is on the receiving end, can see it as a threat,
[00:14:23] can see it as I don't feel safe.
[00:14:25] So where for me is in a relationship, one of the things I teach as a number one is safety.
[00:14:30] You need to feel safe in your relationship.
[00:14:32] So the fact that he actually does this for me, I never feel threatened in any way,
[00:14:37] no matter what the situation is happening with him and his kids or me and his children.
[00:14:42] So that's number one.
[00:14:44] Number two is their different relationships and they need to be treated as different relationships.
[00:14:52] One of the things that I often see in reconstructed families is that things happen really quickly
[00:14:58] without having discussed family dynamics and how,
[00:15:03] or giving the time for the different families to get to know and connect and understand because everybody thinks differently.
[00:15:12] Right.
[00:15:12] So you were, you raised your children and I'm sure that your new wife maybe doesn't have that same philosophy
[00:15:17] or has a different philosophy.
[00:15:19] So it's like, how do we give ourselves permission and time to really get to know and have these conversations?
[00:15:27] And I feel that's where a lot of the time people do not take the time to do that.
[00:15:32] They rush into things so quickly.
[00:15:34] We, I, it took me a year almost to meet my, my fiance's children.
[00:15:40] And this is something that we had decided together that I wanted to make sure we both wanted to make sure
[00:15:45] that we were at a great space together before bringing in these children, which is another dynamic,
[00:15:53] especially that I don't have children of my own.
[00:15:56] And I would say that was such a great thing because today we get them.
[00:16:00] They don't, there are teenagers, so they're spending more time with their friends than they are with us.
[00:16:05] But I would say that if they had to live with me every other week,
[00:16:09] I don't know if we'd be living together as a couple because of the way they're raised.
[00:16:18] And because they are mainly have, they mainly have been raised 90% of the time by their mother
[00:16:25] because he was working, he was the breadwinner.
[00:16:28] So he was not home very often.
[00:16:30] So to settle in and integrate different ways of being raised and thinking when you only have them 10% of the time
[00:16:40] can create some serious conflict.
[00:16:42] So how do you navigate through that?
[00:16:45] So that's why I would say to people really be aware and take time to have these conversations of
[00:16:53] what's your philosophy around raising kids?
[00:16:55] How do you feel that when we blend these two families, that what can we do and create this really safe space to have open communication?
[00:17:05] And as we've talked last time, communication is not necessarily something that we're taught on how to navigate,
[00:17:11] especially not when we deal with conflict, right?
[00:17:15] Especially men.
[00:17:17] So I think to be ignorant and just say, oh, we'll work it out as we go,
[00:17:22] is just setting yourself up for failure and you're being like, you're just closing your eyes.
[00:17:26] So slow down, have those hard conversations at the beginning.
[00:17:31] Involve family members.
[00:17:32] How do you feel about this?
[00:17:33] What do you think about this?
[00:17:35] There's nothing worse than feeling, asking someone and dismissing them.
[00:17:39] And it's, again, it's always about what's the agreement that we can all agree on
[00:17:45] because nobody's going to think the same,
[00:17:47] but what's the agreement that we can all come and agree together and honor and respect that?
[00:17:52] And work through that as we grow together, as we evolve together, as we adapt together, because it's new for everyone.
[00:18:00] So you're a big safe space lady.
[00:18:04] That is, matter of fact, we're just talking about a title there.
[00:18:08] You are the big safe space lady.
[00:18:10] So I divide divorce into pre-divorce.
[00:18:14] You're going to get divorced, the actual divorce time, and then post-divorce, which is healing, which is the recovery.
[00:18:19] How can you, how can a man get safe spaces in each of those positions?
[00:18:29] What's a good way for a man to get a safe space?
[00:18:32] In all, in the three areas that you said, or just...
[00:18:35] Even if they overlap, what's a good way for a man to get a safe space in order to go through what he's going through?
[00:18:43] Well, one, you have had, as a man yourself, have to offer and created a safe space for your family from the beginning.
[00:18:51] And I think that's something that we're not necessarily taught.
[00:18:57] And also, we don't realize the importance and the value that safety actually has.
[00:19:03] If you've never experienced safety in your own relationship, where do you start, right?
[00:19:08] I would say that, where is it and who is it that you feel safe with?
[00:19:15] So what we said earlier about finding someone with whom you can have conversations with and not feel judged.
[00:19:23] And I remember, this is from a female perspective, so I know it's harder from a male's perspective to have buddies with whom you can have conversations with.
[00:19:31] But I want people to know we're changing, we're evolving, and those narratives need to change.
[00:19:36] Like, enough with guys I can't have conversations with.
[00:19:39] Because there are a lot of men that want to have conversations out there.
[00:19:42] So we need to make sure that we can have these conversations.
[00:19:45] And that obviously starts by making someone feel safe.
[00:19:49] And when I say safe is listen, do not judge, honor and respect what the person is.
[00:19:57] It's what I call, like, holding space for them.
[00:20:00] And I did this with a friend at one point because it was so hard for me to be vulnerable and say when shit was going down.
[00:20:07] So I had to ask because I knew why I needed what I was going to ask for.
[00:20:14] So again, it always goes back to the why behind the want and the self-awareness component.
[00:20:18] I was like, I'm trying to learn to be a little bit more vulnerable.
[00:20:21] I'm trying to learn to be able to share my shit when it goes down instead of dealing with it on my own.
[00:20:28] So I'm going to call you and this is what I need from you and this is why.
[00:20:34] I want you to just listen to me, hold space for me, not criticize me, not judge me, not give me advice unless I ask you and not interrupt me.
[00:20:44] Because when you interrupt me, it blocks me.
[00:20:47] It blocks me.
[00:20:48] I'm going to say, you know what?
[00:20:49] It's not worth it.
[00:20:50] I'm not going to talk.
[00:20:50] I'll just lose because it's already really hard for me to actually express myself and share this.
[00:20:56] So these steps can actually be used and applied with someone that you will trust and want to confide in.
[00:21:05] And if you feel you can't get that with another man or with a woman that is a friend, a family member or whatever,
[00:21:11] I would definitely go and find a coach, a therapist, again, to be able to have that safe space.
[00:21:21] And safety cannot come from alone.
[00:21:26] Like it's just not, it's not something that exists on your own, right?
[00:21:29] It's an environment.
[00:21:30] So you really need to be able to find where you feel safe.
[00:21:36] And again, what does safety mean to you?
[00:21:40] Like for me, I just described it.
[00:21:41] It was very well defined.
[00:21:42] I understand it.
[00:21:44] So what does safety mean to you?
[00:21:46] Because your word safety might, your definition of it versus mine might not be the same, right?
[00:21:52] So does that answer your question?
[00:21:54] Yeah, it does.
[00:21:54] It does.
[00:21:55] It does.
[00:21:55] Because they overlap.
[00:21:57] Let's talk about, I had it on my mind.
[00:21:59] Oh, self-care is one of the big ones.
[00:22:01] Let's throw self-care into the safe space.
[00:22:04] What does that look like?
[00:22:06] So self-care is often a place, and I find that with men, a lot of this stuff and research that I've read is very physical because we're not emotional as women are, right?
[00:22:18] Where we'll find our girlfriends and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
[00:22:20] Where men, when they're going through stuff, it will be more through sports.
[00:22:24] So a lot of men start training and finding this level of starting doing triathlons, marathons, or whatever to really release and escape their, I don't want to say escape, but let them out.
[00:22:38] Those emotions that are being repressed.
[00:22:40] So it's a different way.
[00:22:41] But self-care for me is literally finding things that make you happy, finding things within that creates joy, finding things that can also build yourself.
[00:22:54] Confidence, because after going through a divorce, we're often insecure.
[00:22:59] We feel like shit.
[00:23:01] Some people can just be like, who am I anyways?
[00:23:03] Because a lot of people get lost in relationship, especially when we've been in long-term relationship.
[00:23:08] So anything that can really make you reconnect with who you are as a person.
[00:23:16] For me, that's the most beautiful way of giving yourself self-care.
[00:23:22] And that shows up in many different ways for different people.
[00:23:26] It's not self-care is just about going to the spa and getting your haircut and your beard.
[00:23:31] Of course, these are all things we need to take care of ourselves.
[00:23:34] But let's level up the self-care where it's really putting yourself in situations that can elevate who you are as a person, how you get to know who you are, why you want what you want, and bring you joy and happiness.
[00:24:22] Wow.
[00:24:24] How can you have a hard time trying to broach that?
[00:24:26] How can a person maybe overcome that?
[00:24:32] Humility is such a powerful quality over sitting in your ego and the need of being right.
[00:24:43] Okay, let me ask you this.
[00:24:45] What's the emotion you feel when I say ego?
[00:24:49] Selfish.
[00:24:50] Selfish.
[00:24:51] Selfish.
[00:24:51] Okay.
[00:24:51] And what does it do to your body?
[00:24:53] Do you tense up?
[00:24:54] Do you get nervous?
[00:24:57] What do you feel in your body when I say ego?
[00:25:00] It's almost like a fight.
[00:25:01] I don't have an ego.
[00:25:03] Yeah.
[00:25:03] Yeah.
[00:25:04] And when I say the word humility, what does it do to your body?
[00:25:08] Relax it.
[00:25:10] Where would you like to spend your time at?
[00:25:14] Relaxed.
[00:25:15] Yeah.
[00:25:15] For sure.
[00:25:16] Yeah.
[00:25:16] Yeah.
[00:25:16] So this is something I'm going to take the time to explain that I recently read and I
[00:25:23] wasn't even aware of this.
[00:25:24] And I think it simplifies it, especially for men that don't like to necessarily confront
[00:25:29] emotions as they're taught to suppress it.
[00:25:32] There are 70 to 90 different words to describe emotions.
[00:25:36] And we work with around seven to 10 of them, right?
[00:25:40] Anger, frustration, resentment, joy, happiness, sadness, all the same words.
[00:25:45] And when we're not able to give a word to the emotion, we don't understand what's happening,
[00:25:51] especially if you haven't developed your self-awareness and you're still working on it and you're trying
[00:25:55] to understand.
[00:25:56] So I love doing the exercise that we just did.
[00:25:59] It's just like, how does it feel in your body?
[00:26:02] Do you really want to spend time in anger and frustration and ego and the need to being right
[00:26:10] versus humility, forgiveness, and just like peace, right?
[00:26:17] Wow.
[00:26:19] Kind of what I said earlier about cultivate being open, humility has been, I'm so proud
[00:26:29] that I've, this is something I made a point to really cultivate and develop was humility.
[00:26:33] In any given conversation, in any given situation, if someone is going to give me feedback, is
[00:26:40] get mad at me, is going to tell me or bitch at me in any shape or form.
[00:26:45] Of course I get triggered.
[00:26:47] You never want to, nobody likes being told you're wrong or you did something not right
[00:26:52] or whatever.
[00:26:52] But I always ask myself now it's, oh, let me receive this.
[00:26:58] What do I need to learn?
[00:26:59] Or how can I grow from this?
[00:27:01] Or just, I really take the time to question it.
[00:27:04] Are they right?
[00:27:05] Oh, maybe I was actually feeling like shit that day.
[00:27:07] And I was bitchy when I said it, my tone wasn't cool because there is much more power
[00:27:13] in apologizing and being in humility than again, the need of being right and wanting to attack
[00:27:18] back.
[00:27:19] And I think we shared this in the first time that we had our conversation where I said
[00:27:24] a relationship is a threesome.
[00:27:25] It's you, your partner in the relationship.
[00:27:27] Relationship has an entity of its own.
[00:27:29] And it's always thinking about how is my attitude?
[00:27:33] How is my comment?
[00:27:35] How is my need of being right going to service the relationship right now?
[00:27:39] Will it really, if I keep on going and no, I did this, blah, blah, blah, blah.
[00:27:43] Will it really?
[00:27:45] And I would say 98.5% of the time, it really doesn't because it's your ego and the need of
[00:27:50] being right.
[00:27:51] That's just like getting in the way.
[00:27:54] Wow.
[00:27:55] We're at the 30 minute mark.
[00:27:56] My men have about 30 minutes of attention span, but man, that was awesome.
[00:28:03] Part two.
[00:28:04] Tell the people out there how to find you.
[00:28:06] You can visit my website, raiseyourlovesignal.com.
[00:28:11] If you're on social media, I can be found on Instagram where I'm the most active.
[00:28:16] And I'm slowly starting to develop TikTok and YouTube under my name, Chantal.landreville.
[00:28:23] And if you're a man and you're out there, go find your person to work with.
[00:28:30] There's no need to have these conversations on your own.
[00:28:33] And I'm so happy that you're doing this, Dave, because I think men need more help and not
[00:28:39] because they need more help is because they're not prone naturally to go and get the help
[00:28:44] like women do.
[00:28:46] And I think that I've worked with men.
[00:28:48] First of all, I love working with men because they're a lot less complicated than women are
[00:28:52] fucked up.
[00:28:53] We're like, we have these brains that, you know, yeah, men are very simple and it's very logical.
[00:29:00] Sometimes it's just like having the right conversation to give you the right tips.
[00:29:04] That's okay.
[00:29:05] Yes.
[00:29:06] Yes.
[00:29:06] And again, allowing yourself to live through the emotion that is very important.
[00:29:13] So find your words and do that exercise that we just did because where do you want to be?
[00:29:20] Do you want to be tense and frustrated or do you want to be calm and at peace?
[00:29:24] And so.
[00:29:26] I'm going to relax.
[00:29:27] All right, Chantal.
[00:29:28] That was awesome.
[00:29:30] And I can always trust you to knock it out of the park.
[00:29:34] So we're going to say good night to everybody, but hold on the line.
[00:29:38] But thank you very much for your time.
[00:29:39] I appreciate it for the pre, the during and the post.
[00:29:42] So thank you very much.
[00:29:44] Get my book, Raise Your Love Signal, also available on my website.
[00:29:47] Yeah.
[00:29:48] All right.
[00:29:48] Take care.