Co-parenting and communication for the sake of the child - Gabriel Thomas Spartan || Don’t Pick the Scab Podcast || David M. Webb

Gabriel comes to us from the Superbowl city of Las Vegas. Being a first time father, he has developed special skills to assist men and women in their battles and differences in co-parenting. In this episode of the Don't Pick the Scab podcast, Gabriel, a parenting coach and author, joins the host to discuss co-parenting and raising children after divorce. Gabriel shares his personal journey and mission to help first-time parents and those co-parenting. While emphasizing the importance of communication, stability, and normalcy in co-parenting relationships, Gabriel also highlights the significance of self-care for divorced dads and the need to embrace nurturing and caregiving roles. He provides insights on conflict resolution and effective communication strategies in co-parenting.

Takeaways and Topics:

A teacher of 20 years

Fixing the broken vase

You don’t have to be best friends

We all need our space

Let go of the male ego

Normalcy of parenting is gone

Text or email to break the ice

Talk together instead of blaming each other

Talk to each other instead of talking at each other

Guys can be nurturing and caregiving

Make memories with your kids

Mental and physical health

Show the child what love is

Keep positive people around you

All Things Gabriel…

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[00:30.000 --> 01:00.000] Welcome to The Don't Pick the Scab Podcast with the Primus with Connecting Man Over 40 with the tools and community to thrive in their divorce recovery into before, during or after a divorce. Check it out. Welcome, Barbara, out there to The Don't Pick the Scab Podcast, a safe place for divorcing and or divorce men over 40 to find ways to heal and move on with their lives with associated tips, tricks, tools, and methods. On the mic, I have Gabriel Thomas, who is a [01:00.000 --> 01:30.000] Ms. Spartan from California, a 20-year veteran teacher, created a company called First Time Parent Invest in your family, provides coaching services, coaching clinics, specializes too, which we're going to talk about in the parents that are co-parenting, specializing kids from zero to 10. But, you know, I think a lot of those things apply to even kids over 10. So, his goal is to help raise happy, healthy, and self-sufficient children without added stress. [01:30.000 --> 01:55.000] He deals with shifts in custody and relocation. So, he's right up our alley, First Men Over 40 Divorcing and or Divorst. And he has quite a few books on being a toddler and a newborn and all that good stuff. So, introducing Gabriel. Thank you, Gabriel, for being on the show. I appreciate it for taking time tonight and go and introduce yourself and tell us about yourself and then we've got a couple questions and go from there. So, go ahead and take it. [01:55.000 --> 02:09.000] Well, first of all, thank you so much for inviting me on this podcast on your show. It is an absolute pleasure to be here. And I have to tell you, I've been looking forward to meeting you for the past couple of days. [02:09.000 --> 02:21.000] I really have. When I read your bio and everything you sent me, what a moving story that you have. And it was a pleasure to hear from you just before we started recording. [02:21.000 --> 02:32.000] Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Gabriel and I'm a first-time dad to a beautiful baby girl. She is 20 months. Her name is Charlotte. [02:32.000 --> 02:48.000] And I am the husband to an amazing wife, Siren. She is Chinese. I'm getting emotional just talking about this because of my daughter who inspired me with the thought that I had that I was going to have a daughter. [02:49.000 --> 03:02.000] And this was about three and a half years ago. The thought came to me that I needed to give everything that I have in my power for free to those people who need my help. [03:02.000 --> 03:13.000] That everything that I know, everything that I've learned, everything that I'm learning and everything that I will learn about parenting, that I will give it at least 100 hours. That was the goal. [03:13.000 --> 03:35.000] That was three and a half years ago. And my dream came true in a way that not only do I have my amazing wife who gave me this incredible daughter, Charlotte, but at the same time I made my dream of making this business. [03:35.000 --> 03:46.000] For those who are first-time parents who are planning to become first-time parents and those who are co-parenting, to give them the information for absolutely free. [03:46.000 --> 04:04.000] Now for those of you that are co-parenting, I went through a list of 70 lawyers, family law, to find the one who actually accepted my invitation to help me to make the co-parenting part of my business. [04:04.000 --> 04:16.000] I mean, we go through my website, which is called firsttimemomdad.com. And I'm sure you will put that on the description. [04:16.000 --> 04:33.000] We went through the entire website and we have been since probably September to make sure that when you're navigating through my website and wanting my help, acquiring my business for your needs, [04:33.000 --> 04:47.000] that it is easy for you and it's efficient. Not only that, but it is affordable for you so that no matter where you come from and what you're making, you are no less special to me than anyone else. [04:47.000 --> 04:59.000] You're just as important to me and I care about you just as much that I'm not charging you a lawyer fee, I'm not charging you a mediator fee or a therapist fee. [04:59.000 --> 05:12.000] I am a coach, but first and foremost, I am a teacher of 20 plus years. I've talked both in Las Vegas, in Texas, and 11 years in China. [05:12.000 --> 05:21.000] So I have that under my belt. I've got an associate of arts, fine arts, bachelor's of arts and master's in fine arts, first of two years. [05:22.000 --> 05:36.000] I'm also a trainer, a certified personal trainer. So I've got a lot of experience and with that, I've published 10 books for the last 20 months of my daughter's life. [05:36.000 --> 05:48.000] Every two months I've published a new book for her. It's about 350 pages total, all 10 books and two coming up hopefully by May when she's two, she will have 12 books. [05:48.000 --> 05:50.000] She grows, you keep making books. [05:50.000 --> 06:07.000] Yes, but the books are this way. So her entire first year was divided into four books each one with three months, but I'm writing it as if that little infant growing up is a five year old with the intelligence of like an eight year old. [06:07.000 --> 06:16.000] But I am giving her the credit that she is the author, so written by Charlotte and Charlotte's dad. That's all on my website as well. [06:16.000 --> 06:26.000] And for the toddler as well. Now that she calls me data, so it's Charlotte's data. So as she grows and her language changes, so too will the text. [06:26.000 --> 06:32.000] You see a lack of illustrations and drawings, but you will see an abundance of text. [06:32.000 --> 06:43.000] But I also have a novel which I illustrated and wrote for her where it connects her past, her grandfather to her father and to herself. [06:43.000 --> 06:56.000] I said her standards from here to Proxima Centauri B, which is another planetary system in our Milky Way, where she finds a way to land her spaceship called Starship Hope. [06:56.000 --> 07:04.000] And so I illustrated that. So this way her standards for herself are high because my standards for her are high. [07:04.000 --> 07:13.000] So I'm hoping that she will have an amazing future and pass whatever I teach to her on to her kids and that goes on forever. [07:13.000 --> 07:27.000] Wow. Let's get to the meat potatoes. Yeah. So as men over 40 go through the forest and start to co-parents young kids, what advice do you have for maintaining stability and normalcy for them? [07:27.000 --> 07:34.000] Do they, you know, the household is divided? How do they keep some normalcy with that? [07:34.000 --> 07:42.000] Now, first of all, when people come to me, they want me to fix a broken face right away. [07:42.000 --> 07:48.000] And I tell them that is not how things work. That is not how a process works. [07:48.000 --> 07:52.000] You don't give me a problem like, okay, my life fell apart, fix it. [07:52.000 --> 07:57.000] I'm not a therapist and neither am I some sort of a doctor. [07:57.000 --> 08:05.000] What I am is a coach and what I can tell you realistically speaking, there isn't going to be normalcy here. [08:05.000 --> 08:11.000] First of all, now the kids are divided into two different homes with a mom and a dad. [08:11.000 --> 08:21.000] Now, hoping that the mom and dad are in touch with one another where the breakup was friendly enough [08:21.000 --> 08:27.000] that neither one will talk bad about the other, where the kids are not conflicted. [08:27.000 --> 08:31.000] So that the two of you are still, you don't have to be best friends. [08:31.000 --> 08:35.000] You are exes. You are in two different separate homes. [08:35.000 --> 08:41.000] But you do have to communicate for the sake of your child or children, where they're growing up [08:41.000 --> 08:48.000] with the both of you being on board with how you want these children to be raised. [08:48.000 --> 08:54.000] It's no more different than the way I'm raising my daughter with my wife in the same household. [08:54.000 --> 08:59.000] We talk about it and let me go in a different way but come back [08:59.000 --> 09:02.000] that two years before my daughter was born. [09:02.000 --> 09:08.000] We plan for her first seven years, which is the first seven years of a child's life, [09:08.000 --> 09:12.000] is the blueprint for the rest of that child's life. [09:12.000 --> 09:17.000] But you can't start the day that the child is born because now we've got two grandmothers [09:17.000 --> 09:20.000] and a wife who will take over. [09:20.000 --> 09:23.000] As the father, you're just going to have to wait your turn. [09:23.000 --> 09:26.000] And that is the truth now, isn't it? [09:26.000 --> 09:28.000] That is so true. [09:28.000 --> 09:29.000] Oh, my God. [09:29.000 --> 09:32.000] So now you feel like a guy who just donated his sperm. [09:32.000 --> 09:33.000] That's it. [09:33.000 --> 09:38.000] Let's be honest here and I apologize if I'm being offensive to anybody, [09:38.000 --> 09:40.000] but I don't want to sugarcoat anything at all. [09:40.000 --> 09:41.000] That's fine. [09:41.000 --> 09:42.000] Okay. [09:42.000 --> 09:46.000] So now you've got two different parents hoping that you're both together [09:46.000 --> 09:47.000] on board. [09:47.000 --> 09:52.000] There is no normalcy, but the only normalcy here is that both of you talk to one another [09:52.000 --> 09:58.000] and you're raising your child or children in the direction that is best for that child [09:58.000 --> 10:00.000] or your children. [10:00.000 --> 10:02.000] So communication? [10:02.000 --> 10:04.000] Absolutely. [10:04.000 --> 10:06.000] Wow. [10:06.000 --> 10:10.000] What advice can you give for maintaining like strong bonds with young kids [10:10.000 --> 10:12.000] when the custody is split? [10:12.000 --> 10:16.000] How can dads play an active role despite limited time? [10:16.000 --> 10:17.000] I did 50-50. [10:17.000 --> 10:19.000] It's changed on Sunday. [10:19.000 --> 10:24.000] I made sure I was at every practice that I could go every game. [10:24.000 --> 10:25.000] You know, they played soccer. [10:25.000 --> 10:27.000] They played basketball. [10:27.000 --> 10:34.000] My deal was my mantra was I wanted to make memories with my kids. [10:34.000 --> 10:37.000] And I wanted to be an involved father. [10:37.000 --> 10:42.000] So I tell people, because I'm on a couple of Reddit's with these guys who have kids, [10:42.000 --> 10:45.000] things like that, memories with your kids. [10:45.000 --> 10:51.000] And one of the biggest things which I preach and I've seen on Reddit and on Facebook [10:51.000 --> 10:58.000] is these guys have a hard time not being able to control what happens at mom's house. [10:58.000 --> 11:04.000] You know, like if it's real conflicted and I tell them, you have to let it go. [11:04.000 --> 11:09.000] You can only be the best dad you can be when you have them and make those memories. [11:09.000 --> 11:11.000] So what do you think about that? [11:11.000 --> 11:13.000] That is very well put. [11:13.000 --> 11:16.000] Now, here is the reality of that situation. [11:16.000 --> 11:26.000] Maybe what you were involved in your breakup was rather mutual and it was not so violent and such. [11:26.000 --> 11:33.000] But when I speak with my dear friend who is a family lawyer and those that I've spoken to, [11:33.000 --> 11:36.000] that is not the reality most of the time. [11:36.000 --> 11:37.000] This is what happens. [11:37.000 --> 11:43.000] They go to the court, first of all, and they're fighting over the custody of a child or children. [11:43.000 --> 11:50.000] And I will keep saying child or children because that applies to both types of parents. [11:50.000 --> 11:52.000] Now, they fight over that. [11:52.000 --> 11:55.000] Now, first of all, they do it by themselves. [11:55.000 --> 11:59.000] They don't want the help of a lawyer because a lawyer is expensive. [11:59.000 --> 12:05.000] Okay, but then the court will appoint a mediator between the two. [12:05.000 --> 12:08.000] But now you still have paper trail. [12:08.000 --> 12:13.000] This mediator costs less, but this person sets his or her own price for you. [12:13.000 --> 12:17.000] Maybe as high as a lawyer, maybe even higher, maybe lower. [12:17.000 --> 12:21.000] So you don't know, but you do have to acquire the services of either or. [12:21.000 --> 12:28.000] Now, if you want to go at it alone, then the system will decide in either your favor or the other person's favor. [12:28.000 --> 12:36.000] But how it works in Las Vegas, Nevada, where I live, the paper that you're given by the court system, [12:36.000 --> 12:39.000] it splits everything down the middle. [12:39.000 --> 12:44.000] For example, if it's the father's birthday, the kids belong to the father for that day. [12:44.000 --> 12:51.000] But if it's, let's say, a Christmas, even years go to the mom, odd years go to the dad. [12:51.000 --> 12:52.000] Okay? [12:52.000 --> 12:57.000] Now, no two divorces will be the same. [12:58.000 --> 13:03.000] The way I treat it is depends on you. [13:03.000 --> 13:04.000] That's how we go forward. [13:04.000 --> 13:14.000] I can't just generalize and assume that person A's divorce B and C are similar or the same or have similarities. [13:14.000 --> 13:15.000] They may not. [13:15.000 --> 13:17.000] They may be completely different. [13:17.000 --> 13:26.000] But the coaching that is required for me to coach person A will completely differentiate from person B from person C. [13:26.000 --> 13:27.000] Okay? [13:27.000 --> 13:28.000] Because here's the thing. [13:28.000 --> 13:36.000] Most of the time, maybe the mom wants a person A, the mom wants 60, 70%, but the dad wants 50%. [13:36.000 --> 13:41.000] How do you go from 60, 40 to 50, 50? [13:41.000 --> 13:49.000] I have to coach you to somehow get along for the sake of that child or children. [13:49.000 --> 13:51.000] Just get along. [13:51.000 --> 13:56.000] Do not speak negatively about your former spouse. [13:56.000 --> 14:04.000] Do not try to change the kids so that they are in your favor versus in favor of the both of you. [14:04.000 --> 14:05.000] Okay? [14:05.000 --> 14:08.000] Don't get inside of your children's heads. [14:08.000 --> 14:18.000] Communicate with one another, first of all, that you are going to have 50, 50 and that nothing should change in their lives going forward. [14:18.000 --> 14:23.000] The difference will be that they have two loving homes as opposed to one. [14:23.000 --> 14:33.000] They have two completely different sets of parents where they have the right to have their relationships at the same time. [14:33.000 --> 14:36.000] They want to communicate for the sake of you. [14:36.000 --> 14:38.000] Let's say talk to that child. [14:38.000 --> 14:43.000] For the sake of you, I want to talk to your mom or dad so that we get along. [14:43.000 --> 14:45.000] We don't speak negatively. [14:45.000 --> 14:54.000] You do not spy on one or the other for the fact that you prefer mom or dad or dad or mom. [14:54.000 --> 14:59.000] Again, everything goes back to the communication part of this relationship. [14:59.000 --> 15:06.000] If there is no honest and open communication, there is no way that the two of you will ever get along. [15:06.000 --> 15:09.000] Yes, you both want your way. [15:09.000 --> 15:14.000] But what happens to the child here, especially the people going to court, [15:14.000 --> 15:22.000] they are fighting with one another, but their child or children, these kids are in the middle caught in the crossfires. [15:22.000 --> 15:29.000] For the sake of those two, can we please just communicate so that we know what is best for them? [15:29.000 --> 15:34.000] You were talking earlier about the personal training space. [15:34.000 --> 15:37.000] Less shift gears to self-care. [15:37.000 --> 15:42.000] I'm a big proponent that the man or the woman who ever needs to take care of themselves. [15:42.000 --> 15:48.000] Because it's just like when the plane goes down, you put your oxygen mask on first and then your kids. [15:48.000 --> 15:51.000] If you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of your kids. [15:51.000 --> 15:53.000] What do you think about that? [15:53.000 --> 15:57.000] Extremely wonderful point that you just brought up. [15:57.000 --> 16:05.000] I have to tell you this, the people that I speak with, as soon as the divorce happens, the split happens, [16:05.000 --> 16:14.000] 50, let's say 50, 50, both parents give so much to that child or children that they forget about themselves. [16:14.000 --> 16:17.000] That it is about you too. [16:17.000 --> 16:20.000] It is about your recovery now. [16:20.000 --> 16:28.000] You have to think of yourself your self-best interest as much as it is about the self-best interest of your child. [16:28.000 --> 16:30.000] Yes, you do need to go out with your friends. [16:30.000 --> 16:32.000] You need to have that amazing circle of friends. [16:32.000 --> 16:34.000] You do need to exercise. [16:34.000 --> 16:36.000] That is great for your confidence. [16:36.000 --> 16:37.000] That's a confidence builder. [16:37.000 --> 16:39.000] You are meeting people. [16:39.000 --> 16:41.000] You go in maybe a little bit defeated. [16:41.000 --> 16:45.000] You come out with so much confidence with a positive outlook. [16:45.000 --> 16:51.000] As opposed to going in there defeated, just thinking that the world is against you. [16:51.000 --> 16:52.000] You do your cardio. [16:52.000 --> 16:54.000] You come out after 30, 40 minutes. [16:54.000 --> 16:56.000] You realize you're feeling better. [16:56.000 --> 17:01.000] Now you're talking to your ex a little differently, a little bit more positively. [17:01.000 --> 17:08.000] Not only did you take care of yourself, but your energy is now addictive. [17:08.000 --> 17:11.000] Now the other person gets a positivity. [17:11.000 --> 17:16.000] Now let's say a person is a wife and a husband. [17:16.000 --> 17:21.000] One goes to the gym, talks to the other person with positivity and care and love. [17:21.000 --> 17:26.000] The other person has no choice but to be loving, caring and positive. [17:27.000 --> 17:32.000] The problem is that most couples aren't doing that. [17:32.000 --> 17:37.000] They're giving everything to the child because they're afraid that their child or children [17:37.000 --> 17:40.000] will leave them for their ex. [17:40.000 --> 17:46.000] That they forget that it's about all of you still because you're all connected. [17:46.000 --> 17:52.000] You made that child and you care for that child but you cared about yourself once upon a time. [17:52.000 --> 17:55.000] Go back to the happiest times of your life. [17:55.000 --> 17:58.000] What's the name of the competition? [17:58.000 --> 17:59.000] Was that? [17:59.000 --> 18:01.000] It's not a competition. [18:01.000 --> 18:08.000] It should never be a competition because the person that loses is the child or the children. [18:08.000 --> 18:11.000] They lose when the two people don't get along. [18:11.000 --> 18:17.000] Isn't it good that you build yourself confidence and this person builds their confidence and [18:17.000 --> 18:20.000] then you both build each other's confidence? [18:20.000 --> 18:25.000] You're not because you want to get together again and then have this amazing life which [18:25.000 --> 18:33.000] I hope that that happens for the sake of your kids but just to be too positive people going [18:33.000 --> 18:38.000] forward for the sake of your children, isn't it worth it to take 30 minutes a day to build [18:38.000 --> 18:41.000] your confidence as opposed to drink it away? [18:41.000 --> 18:47.000] As opposed to sit with a group of negative people who all they do is nag and they bring [18:47.000 --> 18:49.000] you down as well. [18:49.000 --> 18:55.000] So the coaching that I do with co-parenting is I don't have both couples with me at the [18:55.000 --> 18:58.000] same time, not the man or the wife mostly. [18:58.000 --> 19:00.000] No, I do separately. [19:00.000 --> 19:03.000] First this person and then this person. [19:03.000 --> 19:09.000] I never talk about what you told me to the other person or vice versa but I bring out [19:09.000 --> 19:11.000] the great points. [19:11.000 --> 19:16.000] I talk about the positive vibes, the positive energy, the positive outlook looking towards [19:16.000 --> 19:23.000] the future just to build you two up for the sake of you, your mental health, which is [19:23.000 --> 19:28.000] the most important and the mental health and the physical health of your child. [19:28.000 --> 19:30.000] The most important. [19:30.000 --> 19:31.000] Absolutely. [19:31.000 --> 19:37.000] Because look at the society we're living in today, it's dictated based on how many [19:37.000 --> 19:39.000] likes you get. [19:39.000 --> 19:43.000] That child is already just not feeling well. [19:43.000 --> 19:45.000] Talk to that kid. [19:45.000 --> 19:47.000] Love that child. [19:47.000 --> 19:49.000] Show them what love is. [19:49.000 --> 19:52.000] Show them what caring is. [19:52.000 --> 19:58.000] As opposed to you two being the opposite sides of a magnet and this kid is already in school [19:58.000 --> 20:00.000] maybe being bullied. [20:00.000 --> 20:06.000] Maybe not wanting to go to school which is one of the symptoms when parents split. [20:06.000 --> 20:11.000] I've taken a coping class and I'm about to become a mediator just because I want to [20:11.000 --> 20:15.000] know more so I can do more and I can help more people. [20:15.000 --> 20:20.000] Now, the coping class completely confused me and I talked to Ashley about it, the lawyer [20:20.000 --> 20:22.000] and she says, yeah, that's why I told you to take that class. [20:22.000 --> 20:26.000] I said, I paid $40 for that and I have no answers. [20:26.000 --> 20:29.000] I was going the right way. [20:29.000 --> 20:31.000] You veered me the wrong way. [20:31.000 --> 20:32.000] Wow. [20:32.000 --> 20:38.000] I demystified things that where the couples think this mystery, you can't get along after [20:38.000 --> 20:44.000] a divorce, but what if it was because your child is going through a harder time at school [20:44.000 --> 20:49.000] with society, societal changes? [20:49.000 --> 20:51.000] Think about that. [20:51.000 --> 20:54.000] Does that not bring you down from wherever you are? [20:54.000 --> 20:56.000] Just a little bit. [20:56.000 --> 21:00.000] Well, that kind of reminds me of some of my next question is what are some of the age [21:00.000 --> 21:05.000] appropriate ways for like a dad to communicate with this kid? [21:05.000 --> 21:11.000] Well, like you said, they don't want to go to school, the behavior change. [21:11.000 --> 21:12.000] What are the changes? [21:12.000 --> 21:13.000] Let's go with that first. [21:13.000 --> 21:14.000] What are the changes? [21:14.000 --> 21:16.000] Are there besides not wanting to go to school? [21:16.000 --> 21:18.000] Behavior is another. [21:18.000 --> 21:25.000] First of all, they become quiet or they become very violent because they don't know how to [21:25.000 --> 21:29.000] express themselves at any age. [21:29.000 --> 21:32.000] Not our brains are still forming until the age of 25. [21:32.000 --> 21:38.000] Imagine a little child being split into two different homes. [21:38.000 --> 21:41.000] I'll give you me as an example. [21:41.000 --> 21:48.000] If my mom and dad were split and I was in school and I was always this studious type of kid [21:48.000 --> 21:54.000] who always excelled in school, I think my very first thing would be that I would just be [21:54.000 --> 21:55.000] quiet completely. [21:55.000 --> 22:00.000] Speak to no one, make no friends, don't touch me, but if you come close to me and you provoke [22:00.000 --> 22:04.000] me, I would become violent. [22:04.000 --> 22:06.000] But that wouldn't be my trait. [22:06.000 --> 22:09.000] That would be all of us. [22:09.000 --> 22:15.000] Maybe the order would be a little different, but eventually one thing will lead to another. [22:15.000 --> 22:17.000] Don't you think? [22:17.000 --> 22:18.000] Oh, definitely. [22:18.000 --> 22:21.000] The best way for you to communicate is this. [22:21.000 --> 22:26.000] If you don't see your child, let's say that it's mom's turn Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday [22:26.000 --> 22:27.000] this week. [22:27.000 --> 22:28.000] Okay? [22:28.000 --> 22:33.000] Then you have Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and then Sunday you're all meeting together. [22:33.000 --> 22:37.000] It's a three on that kind of thing. [22:37.000 --> 22:42.000] The mom's got a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, but you want to communicate with your child. [22:42.000 --> 22:48.000] First, you must communicate with your significant or your ex, first of all. [22:48.000 --> 22:50.000] This is what I'm going to do. [22:50.000 --> 22:56.000] Because I don't see my son, I'm going to text him on Monday. [22:56.000 --> 22:59.000] I'm going to call him on Tuesday. [22:59.000 --> 23:02.000] Maybe I'll video him on Wednesday. [23:02.000 --> 23:05.000] Would that work for you? [23:05.000 --> 23:07.000] Come to an understanding. [23:07.000 --> 23:11.000] It doesn't mean you shouldn't see that child for three days. [23:11.000 --> 23:12.000] That's unhealthy. [23:12.000 --> 23:13.000] Okay? [23:13.000 --> 23:15.000] You two need to be in communication. [23:15.000 --> 23:21.000] The entire seven days, every day, maybe not just from two to three. [23:21.000 --> 23:27.000] It could be any time texting one another, videoing one another, calling one another. [23:27.000 --> 23:28.000] That's okay. [23:28.000 --> 23:30.000] We're sending a picture or something. [23:30.000 --> 23:34.000] So long as you communicate, however way possible. [23:34.000 --> 23:39.000] We've got a plethora of ways with which we can communicate with one another. [23:39.000 --> 23:40.000] Right? [23:40.000 --> 23:43.000] Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and on and on and on. [23:44.000 --> 23:50.000] Communicate with the other person and say, look, I know that John is with you, but can [23:50.000 --> 23:55.000] I send him a picture before you do of what I'm doing? [23:55.000 --> 23:59.000] And then can he send me a picture of what he's doing? [23:59.000 --> 24:03.000] And then maybe the mob will say, hey, your dad wants you to send him a picture, but he'll [24:03.000 --> 24:04.000] send you a picture first. [24:04.000 --> 24:06.000] Is that okay with you? [24:06.000 --> 24:08.000] So talk to one another. [24:08.000 --> 24:11.000] Yes, communication is a little bit misconstrued here. [24:11.000 --> 24:16.000] But at least you have continuous constant communication. [24:16.000 --> 24:19.000] You're not sneaking behind one another. [24:19.000 --> 24:20.000] There's no three-day delay. [24:20.000 --> 24:25.000] I mean, look, out of 365 days, three days a week, missing. [24:25.000 --> 24:32.000] That's 12 days out of a month that you don't see or talk or communicate with that child. [24:32.000 --> 24:35.000] That's way too many days per year, right? [24:35.000 --> 24:40.000] So if you can communicate with just a text, hello, John, how are you? [24:40.000 --> 24:41.000] I'm at work today. [24:41.000 --> 24:42.000] It's been busy. [24:42.000 --> 24:44.000] How was your day at school? [24:44.000 --> 24:45.000] Wait for the response. [24:45.000 --> 24:47.000] If there's no response, it's okay. [24:47.000 --> 24:51.000] Just make sure that you told the mob, make sure that he is okay. [24:51.000 --> 24:55.000] You've spoken to the mob and just let it be sometimes. [24:55.000 --> 24:58.000] Maybe we all need our space. [24:58.000 --> 25:00.000] Give that kid some space. [25:00.000 --> 25:05.000] Maybe the first two, three months will be the hardest for your child. [25:06.000 --> 25:09.000] But after that, you just have through communication. [25:09.000 --> 25:14.000] Hopefully, you've come to an understanding that you both love this kid very much. [25:14.000 --> 25:17.000] I'll tell you a very interesting story. [25:17.000 --> 25:21.000] So I think I'll tell you that I have my kids 50-50, chains on Sunday. [25:21.000 --> 25:25.000] After a couple of years, we had down to a science, boom, boom, boom. [25:25.000 --> 25:30.000] And it got to the point where my daughter was in college and my middle son, three kids, [25:30.000 --> 25:33.000] my middle son was driving, so he was driving back and forth. [25:33.000 --> 25:36.000] And being a single parent is hard. [25:36.000 --> 25:37.000] It's hard. [25:37.000 --> 25:40.000] Harder than people think, you know, especially with multiple kids. [25:40.000 --> 25:47.000] So it got to the point where I love to see him come and I love to see him go. [25:47.000 --> 25:51.000] If you're being honest, I have to tell you the truth. [25:51.000 --> 25:53.000] The honesty is flowing right now. [25:53.000 --> 25:55.000] I couldn't wait for him to come. [25:55.000 --> 25:58.000] But at seven days, you know, you got to go to your moms. [25:58.000 --> 26:00.000] I love you dearly. [26:00.000 --> 26:01.000] Get out. [26:01.000 --> 26:02.000] Oh, man. [26:02.000 --> 26:03.000] It was. [26:03.000 --> 26:07.000] And it was just a thing, you know, but being a single parent with two kids, three kids, [26:07.000 --> 26:12.000] especially with high school and activities, it was tough. [26:12.000 --> 26:16.000] But I just want to say that to people out there, you know, you get to that point. [26:16.000 --> 26:18.000] And other people said that they went to that too. [26:18.000 --> 26:21.000] And it's normal, but I felt so bad. [26:21.000 --> 26:24.000] It's so bad, but not let it go. [26:24.000 --> 26:30.000] You need your space as much as a child needs his space. [26:30.000 --> 26:32.000] And when you said that, that reminded me of that. [26:32.000 --> 26:36.000] I said, man, I got to come clean with with the Gabriel to tell the deal. [26:36.000 --> 26:38.000] I appreciate your honesty. [26:38.000 --> 26:40.000] What about the guys? [26:40.000 --> 26:43.000] There's a lot of big, barely men out there. [26:43.000 --> 26:49.000] And they've always relied on the mom to be the nurturing parent, the caregiving parent. [26:49.000 --> 26:53.000] And now the guy has to do nurturing and caregiving. [26:53.000 --> 26:56.000] And he has never done any of that. [26:56.000 --> 27:01.000] And he changed into that role or started to accept that role. [27:01.000 --> 27:05.000] Because that's a tough swing for some men. [27:05.000 --> 27:07.000] Thank you for asking this question. [27:07.000 --> 27:09.000] This means the world to me. [27:09.000 --> 27:14.000] Because I basically built my business on that very foundation. [27:14.000 --> 27:23.000] That first of all, we don't need to have, we don't need to just mails with male ego. [27:23.000 --> 27:26.000] We need to be men. [27:26.000 --> 27:29.000] And we need to raise our own families. [27:29.000 --> 27:33.000] Let me tell you how I did things. [27:33.000 --> 27:40.000] Before my daughter was born two years before she was born, I designed the first seven years of her life [27:40.000 --> 27:42.000] with my wife, Siren, together. [27:42.000 --> 27:48.000] Because the first seven years of a child's life is the blueprint for the rest of his or her life. [27:48.000 --> 27:56.000] If you're a man and you actually, actually did the work and you did your homework and you prepared the first seven years, [27:56.000 --> 28:03.000] the moment the child is born, then you have failed for the reason that the mom gave birth. [28:03.000 --> 28:07.000] The two grandmas are right there. [28:07.000 --> 28:10.000] And you're all by yourself. [28:10.000 --> 28:15.000] There is no way that you're going to implement your plan in saying, [28:15.000 --> 28:17.000] Hey, everybody back off. [28:17.000 --> 28:19.000] I am going to raise my family. [28:19.000 --> 28:22.000] They're just going to laugh you out of that room. [28:22.000 --> 28:25.000] Because that is not how it works. [28:25.000 --> 28:27.000] Let me tell you how I did it. [28:27.000 --> 28:36.000] I studied and I made sure that I learned everything about parenting before we even had the thought. [28:36.000 --> 28:43.000] I prepared my wife first, mentally, physically and spiritually more than anything. [28:43.000 --> 28:47.000] I made sure that her target was clear. [28:47.000 --> 28:53.000] She was going to get pregnant and she was going to have an incredible pregnancy [28:53.000 --> 29:00.000] and that she would give birth to a daughter, my daughter, our daughter. [29:00.000 --> 29:04.000] I was very focused on that very thought. [29:04.000 --> 29:10.000] And I was going to name her Charlotte, my wife of great, and she was going to be born before summer. [29:10.000 --> 29:14.000] You see, when you have a thought, you got to start putting things in place. [29:14.000 --> 29:16.000] You got to write things down. [29:16.000 --> 29:22.000] So two years before she's born, I prepared my wife for the first year just physically. [29:22.000 --> 29:24.000] We're throwing axes. [29:24.000 --> 29:25.000] We're doing darts. [29:25.000 --> 29:27.000] We're going to comedy clubs. [29:27.000 --> 29:30.000] We're doing bumper cars, happiness, happiness. [29:30.000 --> 29:37.000] Just keeping her the happiest possible person, talking about the child, doing puzzles as we're talking. [29:37.000 --> 29:41.000] Because now we're building, we're building a family together piece by piece. [29:41.000 --> 29:48.000] And by the way, that's on my newsletter that I write for my Facebook, which is on my business website. [29:48.000 --> 29:53.000] The very first one that you see, it's all about building my wife up. [29:53.000 --> 30:03.000] Making sure that her circle of people are the most positive, most incredible human beings on this planet. [30:04.000 --> 30:09.000] Where if I'm not there, I trust that she will be in great hands, that they will take care of her. [30:09.000 --> 30:21.000] I removed anybody that was negative and dark and had nothing to do with my family or never would do anything for my family [30:21.000 --> 30:26.000] because they never did, whether I contributed to this person and how close they were. [30:26.000 --> 30:30.000] I still said I'm sorry, but I have to raise my family my way. [30:30.000 --> 30:36.000] And if that breaks you, if you don't want to be my friend, you don't want to be family, it's fine. [30:36.000 --> 30:39.000] Because at the end of the day, I have to bear the burden. [30:39.000 --> 30:42.000] If anything happened to my wife or my daughter. [30:42.000 --> 30:44.000] And let me tell you what happened. [30:44.000 --> 30:50.000] At the end of the COVID pandemic, my daughter was born at the beginning of a formula shortage. [30:50.000 --> 30:56.000] My daughter was born six weeks early emergency C-section for my wife. [30:56.000 --> 30:58.000] And I am there. [30:58.000 --> 31:02.000] There was nobody but me. [31:02.000 --> 31:09.000] The only person that my daughter saw when she looked up was mama and then daddy. [31:09.000 --> 31:10.000] That's it. [31:10.000 --> 31:14.000] When she went to NICU for 11 days and nights, I was working full-time. [31:14.000 --> 31:17.000] I'm working as a business person full-time. [31:17.000 --> 31:20.000] When I said working, that means as a teacher. [31:20.000 --> 31:24.000] I'm a full-time teacher, a full-time businessman, full-time writer. [31:24.000 --> 31:29.000] In 24 hours, I do way more than most people. [31:29.000 --> 31:35.000] But I took that on two years before my daughter was born expecting all of this. [31:35.000 --> 31:38.000] And I prepared for that role. [31:38.000 --> 31:45.000] I didn't just get my wife pregnant, wait for gender reveal, and then be disappointed that I have a daughter. [31:45.000 --> 31:50.000] And then, oh my God, I'm never going to lift weights with my son. [31:50.000 --> 31:53.000] I didn't leave any of that to chance. [31:53.000 --> 32:06.000] I made it very clear to God, universe, and to anyone that I love has passed that I want a daughter who is healthy. [32:06.000 --> 32:08.000] That is it. [32:08.000 --> 32:10.000] And I got one. [32:10.000 --> 32:12.000] And she's 20 months. [32:12.000 --> 32:14.000] My wife recovered. [32:14.000 --> 32:18.000] She started going back to her aerial yoga classes. [32:19.000 --> 32:28.000] My daughter, we've been communicating with our daughter the moment that we learned that my wife is pregnant in three different languages. [32:28.000 --> 32:31.000] English, Chinese, and Spanish. [32:31.000 --> 32:36.000] My wife was learning Spanish while she's pregnant with our daughter. [32:36.000 --> 32:42.000] We were going off-roading because my wife has a different type of craving, not pickles and orange juice. [32:42.000 --> 32:44.000] She's more into off-roading in our Jeep. [32:44.000 --> 32:47.000] And you'll see a whole bunch of videos on that. [32:47.000 --> 32:49.000] But this is what I did. [32:49.000 --> 32:55.000] As a future father, I set the standard for my daughter where I made a YouTube channel. [32:55.000 --> 33:00.000] That's what started the whole thing, this revolution of me being a business person. [33:00.000 --> 33:02.000] Finally, I'm a dad. [33:02.000 --> 33:04.000] That's in my business website, by the way. [33:04.000 --> 33:12.000] I said, I'm going to make 50 of the most amazing videos for my daughter teaching her everything that I know about life. [33:13.000 --> 33:17.000] As of two weeks ago, I'm on number 191. [33:17.000 --> 33:18.000] Dang. [33:19.000 --> 33:21.000] But I have two YouTube channels. [33:21.000 --> 33:23.000] Life is hard for parents. [33:23.000 --> 33:31.000] And I talk to you guys and ladies about difficulties of life and how I try to eliminate all this. [33:31.000 --> 33:35.000] But it's hard work because I don't have help. [33:35.000 --> 33:37.000] I do not have help. [33:37.000 --> 33:40.000] We have one vehicle and that's how I kept it. [33:40.000 --> 33:45.000] I said, I'm going to take my wife to work, bring her home, take our baby to daycare, bring her home, go to work. [33:45.000 --> 33:49.000] If they call me to take her to pediatrician, I will. [33:49.000 --> 33:51.000] Everything is on me. [33:51.000 --> 33:52.000] There you go. [33:52.000 --> 33:55.000] The way she's being raised, it's all on me. [33:55.000 --> 34:01.000] So I'm not just a male with a male ego going, hey, I made a king. [34:01.000 --> 34:03.000] No, but I am a father. [34:03.000 --> 34:06.000] And I show you that I'm vulnerable, that I can break easy. [34:06.000 --> 34:11.000] But at the same time, I have to hold it together because I'm raising a family. [34:11.000 --> 34:13.000] So a little bit of both. [34:13.000 --> 34:14.000] Absolutely. [34:14.000 --> 34:17.000] We have to show our vulnerable side. [34:17.000 --> 34:21.000] You know, all too often as men, we think, man, we got it. [34:21.000 --> 34:22.000] Oh, I got it. [34:22.000 --> 34:24.000] What do you got? [34:24.000 --> 34:26.000] What is it that you got? [34:26.000 --> 34:27.000] Tell me. [34:27.000 --> 34:28.000] Do you know anything about parenting? [34:28.000 --> 34:29.000] Yeah, man. [34:29.000 --> 34:30.000] But I got this. [34:30.000 --> 34:32.000] And I ask people, what is it that you got? [34:32.000 --> 34:35.000] Do you have the first seven years of your child plan? [34:35.000 --> 34:36.000] What? [34:36.000 --> 34:38.000] No, I don't have time for that. [34:38.000 --> 34:39.000] Well, then you lost. [34:39.000 --> 34:44.000] So you're giving your child to your mother to raise for you, and then you will be disappointed [34:44.000 --> 34:47.000] that your child didn't turn out the way you wanted this kid to be. [34:47.000 --> 34:49.000] When you had no part of it? [34:49.000 --> 34:50.000] Absolutely. [34:50.000 --> 34:52.000] And all you did was go to work. [34:52.000 --> 34:54.000] Yes, you worked hard. [34:54.000 --> 34:55.000] You came home. [34:55.000 --> 34:56.000] You wanted to watch something. [34:56.000 --> 34:58.000] You were interrupted by your child. [34:58.000 --> 35:01.000] And then that kid is 18 years old. [35:01.000 --> 35:04.000] Who knows what's going on with that kid? [35:04.000 --> 35:06.000] Because you never took the time. [35:06.000 --> 35:09.000] So what are you disappointed at? [35:09.000 --> 35:13.000] And then you're lashing out at the wife, and then you two are not getting along. [35:13.000 --> 35:15.000] And then you're separating, you're divorcing. [35:15.000 --> 35:20.000] You see, you see where it all stems from. [35:20.000 --> 35:24.000] Go back to those days where you wanted it to be easy. [35:24.000 --> 35:26.000] The wife to raise everyone. [35:26.000 --> 35:28.000] The grandmother to raise. [35:28.000 --> 35:33.000] I'm not even allowing my daughter to be on anyone's lap because I don't want that smell. [35:33.000 --> 35:35.000] For her to smell that smell. [35:35.000 --> 35:39.000] She needs to have more of the mom and dad smell. [35:39.000 --> 35:44.000] Later on, when she grows up and has grandma and grandpa visiting, that's fine. [35:44.000 --> 35:49.000] But the first few years, I got to be there, or I'm going to lose my family. [35:49.000 --> 35:51.000] There you go. [35:51.000 --> 35:54.000] What about conflict resolution when you're co-parent? [35:54.000 --> 35:55.000] That's a big one. [35:55.000 --> 35:59.000] And I know the communication part is really big. [35:59.000 --> 36:06.000] What kind of methods tips tricks can you do to keep the conflict to a minimum level? [36:06.000 --> 36:10.000] You know, I know the kid is our primary. [36:10.000 --> 36:16.000] Or even a different question is when you have one parent that doesn't help, [36:16.000 --> 36:19.000] and then the other parent is doing it all. [36:19.000 --> 36:26.000] How do you lift that one parent up and give them hope when the other parent isn't helping at all? [36:26.000 --> 36:29.000] This is a very tough question. [36:29.000 --> 36:32.000] Let me tell you how things work in this realm. [36:32.000 --> 36:36.000] The question that you asked, I'm going to answer it this way. [36:36.000 --> 36:43.000] Now, if on your time, you two are not getting along and if the child gets in trouble on your watch, [36:43.000 --> 36:44.000] the ex will be on you. [36:44.000 --> 36:45.000] Oh, yeah. [36:45.000 --> 36:47.000] Because it is your fault. [36:47.000 --> 36:51.000] Because you weren't attentive and vice versa. [36:51.000 --> 36:57.000] These are things that you need to talk about before the divorce happens. [36:57.000 --> 37:02.000] And hopefully that before that 50-50 happens. [37:02.000 --> 37:10.000] That a child is a human being and that child will get in trouble because that's what children do. [37:10.000 --> 37:16.000] But let us not blame one another, but come together for the sake of that child. [37:16.000 --> 37:23.000] Sit together, the three of you, and just speak as a family. [37:23.000 --> 37:25.000] What happened? [37:25.000 --> 37:29.000] How can we avoid that next time? [37:29.000 --> 37:37.000] What events led to that very thing that is not in your favor, that is not in child's favor, [37:37.000 --> 37:40.000] that got the child in trouble? [37:40.000 --> 37:50.000] I mean sit together at the dining table in your living room somewhere where all three of you are looking at each other [37:50.000 --> 37:53.000] in the eye and talking with one another. [37:53.000 --> 37:59.000] And as opposed to blaming each other, going, it was you in front of the kid, going, [37:59.000 --> 38:05.000] hey, the two of us call one another and say, hey, the two of us, let's sit together. [38:05.000 --> 38:07.000] Let's talk about what happened. [38:07.000 --> 38:10.000] But this is what we're going to do. We have to be on the same page. [38:10.000 --> 38:17.000] As opposed to punishing the child because it is neither in your favor or your ex's favor to punish the kid [38:17.000 --> 38:24.000] because that child feels that he or she is being punished already because he or she is split into two homes. [38:24.000 --> 38:25.000] Right? [38:25.000 --> 38:26.000] Correct. [38:26.000 --> 38:35.000] Let's not give more reasons for that child to be away from you and your ex as opposed to bringing that kid together [38:35.000 --> 38:40.000] under one roof and talking about it, going, okay, so you got our peace seat. [38:40.000 --> 38:43.000] What led to that? [38:43.000 --> 38:46.000] How can we avoid this next time? [38:46.000 --> 38:50.000] What can I do to help you so that this doesn't happen? [38:50.000 --> 38:54.000] And then your ex says the same thing. What can I do to contribute? [38:54.000 --> 38:57.000] What can we do together? [38:57.000 --> 39:01.000] We may be in separate homes, but we're always a family. [39:01.000 --> 39:03.000] Let's talk about it. [39:03.000 --> 39:10.000] Again, we have to find a way to communicate with one another without the animosity, without going, [39:10.000 --> 39:13.000] oh, she left me and this is what happened. [39:13.000 --> 39:17.000] You only see the bad. See the good. [39:17.000 --> 39:21.000] Don't talk at each other. Don't talk to each other. [39:21.000 --> 39:32.000] Communicate with one another with respect and kindness and love because as human beings we have more of that. [39:32.000 --> 39:35.000] The more you give, the more you receive. [39:35.000 --> 39:43.000] Now, if you have this violent nature in front of a child who's in trouble who needs your help, you two are getting at it. [39:43.000 --> 39:45.000] Where does that leave the child? [39:45.000 --> 39:47.000] It's just going to be worse. [39:47.000 --> 39:51.000] And next, okay, this time RPC, next time arrested. [39:51.000 --> 39:53.000] And then what's next? [39:53.000 --> 39:55.000] Self-harm? Where does that stop? [39:55.000 --> 39:58.000] What is RPC? [39:59.000 --> 40:02.000] When you get RPC from a school, then you're basically thrown out of the school. [40:02.000 --> 40:03.000] Okay. All right. [40:03.000 --> 40:05.000] Suspended. Okay. All right. Thank you. [40:05.000 --> 40:08.000] Because I was sitting here like, what is RPC? [40:08.000 --> 40:15.000] Yeah. You reprimanded for the things that you did and they no longer want you there. [40:15.000 --> 40:16.000] I got you. [40:16.000 --> 40:18.000] So, devil's advocate. [40:18.000 --> 40:20.000] There is no communication. [40:20.000 --> 40:23.000] And you're all by yourself, but you're still co-parenting. [40:23.000 --> 40:30.000] It could be nice and kumbaya, Arabic is together for the kid, but what happens if you can't do that? [40:30.000 --> 40:36.000] What options does a man over 40 have to keep it together? [40:36.000 --> 40:45.000] Again, these are incredible questions because I have the same questions that I ask the people that I work with. [40:45.000 --> 40:47.000] One doesn't want to talk to the other. [40:47.000 --> 40:58.000] A few weeks ago, I received a message that I need a mediator or whatever because I can't talk to my ex about my five-year-old and 12-year-old. [40:58.000 --> 41:00.000] A mediator or whatever. [41:00.000 --> 41:05.000] I don't know what you want because we don't seem to get along. [41:05.000 --> 41:10.000] And when we talk, we go in circles. [41:11.000 --> 41:16.000] Now, I told her, I said, I provide coaching for the both of you. [41:16.000 --> 41:23.000] You both need to be on board or one of you should be really committed to this and then communicate that to the other person. [41:23.000 --> 41:31.000] And then I never heard from her again because she gave me a broken face and said, put it together for me and give it back to me, seamless. [41:31.000 --> 41:40.000] I don't know if there is a single human being on this planet with any amount of degrees earned in college and university or beyond. [41:40.000 --> 41:44.000] That could fix such a thing because it was very general. [41:44.000 --> 41:50.000] It was rather one-sided and it was very violently spoken. [41:50.000 --> 41:53.000] We just go in circles. [41:53.000 --> 41:59.000] How about you both sit for a minute, separately, breathe? [42:00.000 --> 42:13.000] And if the center of your universe is your child or your two children, wouldn't it be best if maybe I can't speak to you face to face? [42:13.000 --> 42:17.000] I don't want to call you because we're going in circles. [42:17.000 --> 42:20.000] Can we text one another? [42:21.000 --> 42:28.000] Would that work just to break the ice where one person isn't blaming the other person? [42:28.000 --> 42:43.000] One person isn't taking all the blame and feeling bad and now the animosity grows, so does the separation and the division is even further than before. [42:43.000 --> 42:45.000] So where are we? [42:45.000 --> 42:55.000] If I've answered your question, find a way to communicate with each other, you don't have to be best friends. [42:55.000 --> 43:01.000] You don't have to take all the blame, you don't have to give all the blame. [43:01.000 --> 43:04.000] What is the problem? [43:04.000 --> 43:08.000] How are we going to solve that problem? [43:08.000 --> 43:12.000] That's that. [43:12.000 --> 43:15.000] All right, Gabriel, we're going to be here all night, man. [43:15.000 --> 43:22.000] Yes, wow, you put me on the spot today. I had a mental workout. [43:22.000 --> 43:25.000] Man, you got me sweating on here. I'm not even working out. [43:25.000 --> 43:31.000] Dang, well, hey, we're going to definitely do this again because I think we just crashed the surface. [43:31.000 --> 43:33.000] We've got some more. [43:33.000 --> 43:35.000] Man, that was interesting. [43:35.000 --> 43:38.000] Wow. [43:38.000 --> 43:41.000] If I left you speechless, I did my homework. [43:41.000 --> 43:48.000] Yeah, you did your job. It'll be fun edit this one, but not a whole lot of edits because it was some knowledge. [43:48.000 --> 43:53.000] We appreciate Gabriel for hooking up with us tonight on a Wednesday night. [43:53.000 --> 43:57.000] We're definitely going to come back for more because that was just the beginning. [43:57.000 --> 44:05.000] First of all, I want to thank you so much because when I saw that you accepted my request, [44:05.000 --> 44:12.000] when I saw your podcast, I said, I have to definitely be on your show and you accepted my offer. [44:12.000 --> 44:18.000] And then I see all this information being sent to me by you taking the time to do that. [44:18.000 --> 44:28.000] I am extremely excited and humbled and just I'm a loss for words, really, because you're such a gentleman. [44:29.000 --> 44:34.000] I don't get to talk to people like you who grab on my brain and you did that. [44:34.000 --> 44:37.000] But I have to tell you, I feel the same way. [44:37.000 --> 44:38.000] I would like to come back. [44:38.000 --> 44:39.000] Oh, yeah, definitely. [44:39.000 --> 44:45.000] If you have any other questions, if you have any of your viewers who need my services, [44:45.000 --> 44:47.000] I just want to close with this. [44:47.000 --> 44:50.000] Yeah, speaking of the answer, give us all your information. [44:50.000 --> 44:51.000] Go ahead and announce it. [44:51.000 --> 44:55.000] And then I have the bottom of the show notes, but go ahead and tell us about where you are. [44:55.000 --> 44:59.000] Okay, so I'm based in Las Vegas, Nevada. [44:59.000 --> 45:05.000] But the work that I do is online because I work with people from different states. [45:05.000 --> 45:09.000] Now, it's called firsttimemomdad.com, not mom and dad. [45:09.000 --> 45:15.000] Firsttimemomdad.com and I know you will put that somewhere in the description. [45:15.000 --> 45:17.000] That's where you will see first time parent. [45:17.000 --> 45:20.000] You will see co-parenting classes and clinics. [45:20.000 --> 45:22.000] Do sign up. [45:22.000 --> 45:25.000] Listen, it's still not too late. [45:25.000 --> 45:27.000] Don't wait until it is too late. [45:27.000 --> 45:32.000] The cost for what I offer you is far less than the price you will pay for not knowing. [45:32.000 --> 45:33.000] Yeah, definitely. [45:33.000 --> 45:34.000] That makes sense. [45:34.000 --> 45:38.000] So don't think that you can't afford me without knowing me. [45:38.000 --> 45:42.000] Don't think that I'm too expensive without even asking me, [45:42.000 --> 45:44.000] come for help, please. [45:44.000 --> 45:45.000] Talk to somebody. [45:45.000 --> 45:49.000] Maybe you ladies and gentlemen, you just need to talk to someone. [45:50.000 --> 45:53.000] You just want to listen without judgment. [45:53.000 --> 45:55.000] Please talk to me. [45:55.000 --> 45:58.000] And I would love to help you out too. [45:58.000 --> 46:00.000] Check out the YouTube channel. [46:00.000 --> 46:01.000] What do you got? [46:01.000 --> 46:02.000] 190, you said? [46:02.000 --> 46:03.000] 190. [46:03.000 --> 46:04.000] Well, I've got, yeah. [46:04.000 --> 46:08.000] And one, I've got a whole bunch and the other one life is hard for parents. [46:08.000 --> 46:12.000] I've got a newsletter called Power Parenting newsletter. [46:12.000 --> 46:14.000] So I've got a lot going on on that website. [46:14.000 --> 46:15.000] Oh, man. [46:15.000 --> 46:18.000] All right, Carol, thank you again. [46:18.000 --> 46:20.000] We'll have all the information at the bottom of the show. [46:20.000 --> 46:23.000] No, so we're going to sign off and definitely have you come back. [46:23.000 --> 46:24.000] But I appreciate your time. [46:24.000 --> 46:25.000] Take care. [46:25.000 --> 46:26.000] Thank you very much. [46:26.000 --> 46:27.000] Thank you. [46:27.000 --> 46:28.000] Bye-bye. Transcription results written to '/home/forge/transcribe3.sonicengage.com/releases/20240207165123' directory

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